What She Needs
by pbwin
Summary: R to be safe ExT& lil TxT Years have passed since the days of capturing cards, and Tomoyo isn't the same person she once was. She digging herself a hole she can't climb up from. Can she be changed? Warning: You may not like how Tomoyo is portrayed
1. Miserable

Disclaimer: you know it, I know it, the owners of ccs know, it. That all rights belong to them, not me. Just borrowing the character, nothing else.

Warning: This is R because its hard to tell what a person under seventeen should be able to read and what not. So I hope you have made a responsible decision when you opened this. Tomoyo is portrayed in ways you may not like. And just be aware of that. I love Tomoyo and I son't even like the way I made her, but there is reason to my madness.

What She Needs- Miserable

Tomoyo Daidouji slapped the alarm clock on her night stand and knocked it to the floor. Her hand immediately went to her forehead, trying to rub out the hangover from last night at the club.

"Good morning sunshine," a voice sang out from a lump beneath the covers.

Tomoyo looked to her side and watched as a red headed woman sat up without modesty, revealing her bare chest as the sheets fell from her shoulders.

"I hope you slept well, I sure know I did. Oh my, how you managed to exhaust me last night!! I slept like a rock." The redhead caressed Tomoyo's hair seductively and tried to lean in for a kiss, but met only air as Tomoyo pulled a sheet over her body and rose from the bed without a sound. She walked over to her closet and began picking out the suit she would wear for the day.

"So, what are you doing today honey?"

"Going to work." Tomoyo replied flatly. She looked over at the woman in her bed and scowled before adding, "I suggest you get dressed, because I'm leaving in twenty minutes and I don't allow anyone, save my housekeeper, in my home while I'm out."

The girl huffed and leaned over the side of the bed to pick up her clothes. As she buttoned up her blouse, she walked over to Tomoyo and kissed her on the cheek which Tomoyo chose to ignore. "So, how about having dinner with me tonight?"

Tomoyo glanced at her from the corner of her eye. "I think I'm busy," she replied without thought.

The woman sighed and finished buttoning up her blouse. "Well then, how about tomorrow for lunch?" She seemed desperate for an answer from Tomoyo and her tone of voice suggested that she would continue to ask until Tomoyo agreed to meet with her again.

"Why don't you just leave your number on my dresser and I'll call you sometime. I really can't make any plans right now." Tomoyo emphasized certain words to imply she was already annoyed with the woman and pointed at her bureau where the was a pen and pad by her telephone. "And when you are done, you don't have to wait for me. Feel free to just show yourself out, okay sweetie?" Tomoyo cupped the girl's face and gave her a tender kiss before retreating into the bathroom to change.

When she returned, the woman was gone. Tomoyo went to her dresser where the woman left her number. "Veronica. So that was her name." She shrugged and pulled open the top drawer of her dresser and placed the paper in it among countless numbers of papers, cocktail napkins, and business cards, all with the names and numbers of men and women that had wished to keep the company of the raven haired beauty Tomoyo Daidouji.

Veronica had just become another one-night-stand for Tomoyo. She had no intentions of calling up the woman for dinner, lunch, or ever.

Tomoyo picked up her clothes from last night and reached into the pocket of her leather pants. She pulled out three more numbers and threw them into drawer. They could have been the names of people she danced with, bought drinks for, or even made out with for a good portion of the night. It did not matter that she couldn't this face and that name, she wasn't going to call any of them ever.

She picked up a brush and pulled it through her dark locks before grabbing an aspirin bottle from the dresser top and taking two pills to deal with the hangover. This was a normal routine for Tomoyo. Ever since college, she had become very promiscuous, not worrying about who she kissed or who she took to bed. It didn't matter much who they were, because none of them mattered to her; none of them were that one person that Tomoyo wanted them to be. She only did it because sometimes, when it was really good, she could get this moment of physical pleasure that could make her forget just for a second that she was so miserably unhappy.

Tomoyo grabbed her black leather bag and slung it over her shoulder. She took one last look in the mirror to make sure she was composed. Her hair was bound neatly in a single braid down to the small of her back. She wore a dark blue dress suit that came to just above her knee with a lavender blouse underneath, with the top two buttons undone to reveal her slender neck and collarbone. She looked responsible, beautiful, and untouchable all at the same time. A proper look for the president of Daidouji toys.

**To be continued**

Author's notes: Hey people. Thanks for taking time to read a bit. I know, its upsetting at first for Tomoyo fans.. And you might be sitting there wondering if that's going to change. Well, that's not something I can tell you. Its really something you have to read to find out. And I think its better that way. Have a little faith. If you don't like, by all means, don't read. Reviews are very much appreciated, preferably positive.


	2. the professional

Disclaimer: you know it, I know it, the owners of ccs know, it. That all rights belong to them, not me. Just borrowing the character, nothing else.

What She Needs- The Professional

"Good morning Miss Daidouji." Kihone, Tomoyo's personal assistant greeted her and offered her a cup of coffee.

Tomoyo accepted it gratefully and took a sip. "Any messages?"

She continued walking to her office with her assistant on her tail. "Yes, Mr. Mineta would like to meet with you to discuss the possibility of bringing Daidouji toys to America. And Sakura Kinomoto called and asked that you call her back when you have time."

Tomoyo nodded and wrote down both items in her planner. "Is everyone ready for the meeting?"

"Yes, Miss Daidouji, they are already in the conference room."

Tomoyo grabbed her notepad off her desk and accepted a leather bound portfolio from Kihone filled with proposals and plans that would be discussed in the meeting. She went down the hall to the conference room and sat at the head of the table where she could see the rest of her associates. She hardly listened to the presentations; all she really had to do was give her approval or rejection. She had so many people working under her that things ran smoothly and she was almost just a figure head, needed to sign papers and act as a diplomat of the business world.

Her mother had built a strong company, and even if Tomoyo had been completely incompetent with the way the company worked, it could still run smoothly. She had her days where she would come up with ideas and give brilliant input that meant millions more for the company, but they weren't necessary, they only made the company stronger. It was better this way. Tomoyo was still young to have the company all to herself. Many of the CEOs had been working under her mother and had much more experience with the company than she had. But after Sonomi died in a fatal car accident, the company went straight to her twenty three year old daughter Tomoyo.

After three years of working for Daidouji toys, Tomoyo finally settled with the fact that the company would be her life's work. From then on she had forgotten her hopes and dreams and settled for her pathetic life.

* * *

"Everything looks in order Mr. Mineta. You may proceed with the meeting with our American associates." She closed the binder and put it in the bottom drawer of her desk. "Once you have made arrangements, call my office and we will have a flight arranged for the Chairman to come here to make things official.

The stocky man stood and bowed slightly before leaving the room.

Tomoyo exhaled. She hoped that she was making the right decision. Her mother had thought about expanding Daidouji toys to America for years, and Tomoyo supposed that it would be her task now to fulfill her mother's wishes.

She sat idly for a while. It was four. She considered taking off early since things seemed to be settled for today. She glanced at her planner and remembered Sakura's message. She picked up the phone next to her and dialed.

"Hello? Li residence." Sakura's voice answered from the opposite end of the line.

"Hello Sakura."

"Tomoyo-chan!" Sakura still failed to drop the affectionate 'chan' from Tomoyo's name. They weren't children anymore, but Sakura always acted as if they were.

"Yes, how are you Sakura? Kihone told me you called earlier today." Tomoyo's voice was soft, as it always was with Sakura. She hid the anger, the bitterness, the jealousy.

"Oh yeah, I wanted to invite you to Syaoran's twenty seventh birthday party. His family from China is coming and everything," Sakura squealed excitedly.

"Oh really? And when is this big bash going to be?" Tomoyo fingered her planner, knowing the party would be on Syaoran's birthday, since that was the only day Sakura would allow them to celebrate it for luck purposes. However she had the hardest time remembering just when his birthday actually was.

"On his birthday, silly, this Friday. You will be able to make it right?"

"Well…." Tomoyo hesitated. She had no other plan except for the usual night at the club then the night in bed.

"Oh please you must come Tomoyo-chan. I have not seen you in ages. And Syaoran's cousins are coming, there's one I think you would really like to meet…."

"No!" Tomoyo snapped firmly. "Don't try to set me up again Sakura-chan. I am perfectly happy with my life the way it is. Please, no more arrangements. I will go to Syaoran's birthday of course, but you mustn't try to set me up with anyone."

Tomoyo heard Sakura sigh from her side. "I just want you to be happy Tomoyo-chan, like Sayoran and I are. Really, I think you will see how much happier you can be when you have someone."

"I do have people Sakura. I have you, Syaoran, and Nadeshinko. That's all I need, really. Now can we drop this? You wanted me to go to the party, and I have already agreed." Tomoyo tried to hide the frustration in her voice. She always had to lie to Sakura, for Sakura's sake.

"Hai." It was a very defeated sounding acknowledgment and Tomoyo could practically that auburn clad head of her friend sink to her chest. "Well I will let you get back to work then. Bye Tomoyo-chan."

Tomoyo let out a heavy breath, feeling very depressed. She hung up the phone then picked it up again, dialing another number very familiar to her.

"Hello?" A male voice answered.

"It's me. Are you free tonight?"

"No feeling to great today?"

"No. So can you come by?"

"Not until after ten."

Tomoyo nodded. "That's fine. I just need you tonight."

"Hai." He replied then hung up.

**To be continued**

Author's note: thanks for the reviews. Its not normal for me to update this quickly. But I got done with some work early.


	3. The Love Affair

Disclaimer: you know it, I know it, the owners of ccs know, it. That all rights belong to them, not me. Just borrowing the character, nothing else.

Author's note: Don't kill me! Ok, happy holidays to whomever is celebrating, and to those who don't, happy December. Ok, so I don't know if you guys will take this as a gift or want to shoot me. But I swear I have direction.

What She Needs- The Love Affair

Tomoyo stared at the hands of the grandfather clock in her living room. It would be eleven soon. She twirled the sash of her red silk robe idly as she waited.

She soon heard a knock on the door and went to answer it. She looked up at the tall auburn haired man and felt some of the tension leave her shoulders. Tomoyo took him by the hand and pulled him into the house. She helped him take his coat off and went on her toes to kiss him gently on the lips.

"Thanks for coming." She spoke quietly without looking into his eyes and kissed him once more.

"Of course." He replied then followed her up the stairs to her bedroom.

She sat down on the bed while he remained standing. She reached for the belt of his pants and undid them as he pulled the robe for her shoulders. There was no need for foreplay between the two. Once they were both undressed, he laid her down on the bed and made love to her.

Tomoyo sat up from the bed and reached into the end table drawer and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. She lifted a slender stick from the box then held the pack out. She offered her guest one but he refused. "You know I don't. And you know I don't like that you do."

She shrugged and lit hers.

"So are you going to tell me what happened today that made you call me?" He rose from the bed, to reach for his boxers and pulled them on.

"I got a call." She replied and tapped her cigarette ashes into the trash can. "From your sister."

Touya Kinamoto nodded and pulled on his shirt before sitting back on the edge of the bed. "About Syoaran's birthday I suppose."

"Yeah." She put out the cigarette on the side of the trashcan and dumped it in.

"Do you plan to go?"

"I told her I would. She is still my best friend." They were silent for a while as Touya pulled on the remainder of his clothes. "How is Yukito? Is he doing well?" She hadn't asked because she cared, she only asked to break the unnerving silence in the air.

"He's fine. He stayed up to let Yue visit Sakura tonight. That's why I couldn't come until late. Sorry." He stood up with his hands in his jean pockets.

Tomoyo reached for the robe at the end of the bed and wrapped it around her. "It's fine, I'm just glad you could make it. I'll walk you out."

Touya followed Tomoyo silently down the stairs and stopped next to her at the doorway. "I know it hurts Tomoyo, but you need to start taking better care of yourself." He cradled her soft face in his large hand. "You can always call me for other reasons Tomoyo. Even just to talk. You know I love you and I will be here for you." He bent down and kissed her hair.

Tomoyo nodded and opened the door for him. She watched as he pulled on his jacket and retreated into the night, back to his true lover. She always knew why _she_ was involved in the tawdry love affair. For one, Touya was very good in bed. He was one of those people that really made her forget. The second reason, although she denied it for a very long time, was because Touya was Sakura's brother and that was the closest she would ever get to her Sakura blossom.

He was tender when they went to bed together and she knew that he loved her, but not quite the way she wanted to be loved. But that was fine. She didn't want that kind of love from him. He consoled her and did this for her without question because he knew she needed it. Tomoyo used to think that Touya would come to her because he missed the touch of a woman, which could still be the case. But after so many years of being sexual partners, and hearing him talk about Yukito and watching them together, she realized that he did it mostly for her. Touya's love for Yukito was so pure and he always seemed happier with him than he ever was with her.

There was nothing missing in his life for Touya, so he must have been continuing the affair for Tomoyo's sake. Realizing this once again, Tomoyo ran to her room and cried.

To be continued…….


	4. The Soft Side

Disclaimer: you know it, I know it, the owners of ccs know, it. That all rights belong to them, not me. Just borrowing the character, nothing else.

What She Needs- The Soft Side

"Tomoyo-chan! I'm so glad you came!" Tomoyo was immediately swept up into a suffocating hug by Sakura Kinamoto.

"Sakura… I can't breathe." She managed to sputter out, making the auburn haired woman ease up on her grip.

"Gomen." Sakura pulled back and smiled at Tomoyo. Even after so many years, she still has the same exuberant smile that seemed to light up the room. Only now, her once childish face had become the defined face of a woman. She had the strong pointed chin of her mother, but her eyes were still soft and gentle. Now her hair hung just above her shoulders, framing her face with their soft auburn curls.

"Thank you for inviting me." Tomoyo bowed and stepped into the house.

"Oh Tomoyo, you look wonderful tonight!" Sakura exclaimed in her usual enthusiastic tone. "You should wear that dress all the time! Is it new?"

Tomoyo nodded. She had bought the cap-sleeved black dress that day after she realized none of the "going out" clothing would be appropriate for a family gathering. It would be an addition to that small corner of her closet she deemed "Sakura's corner." Tomoyo preferred to keep things modest in Sakura's company, since she was ignorant to the way she lived her life.

"It's really ridiculous Tomoyo." Sakura spoke as she reached for the large shopping bag Tomoyo had been carrying.

"What is ridiculous?" Tomoyo asked as she followed Sakura into the living room. There were already plenty of people there. Mostly Syaoran's relatives and a few old college friends.

"That someone who looks as beautiful as you, is here by yourself tonight." Sakura said casually. She held out a glass of wine for Tomoyo which she accepted gratefully, but not without a slight roll of the eyes at Sakura's flagrant hint.

"Sakura, you promised me that you wouldn't try to set me up with anyone. How many time do I have to tell you…"

"You're happy the way you are." Sakura finished the sentence for her. "I know, I know. Its just you never know how much more you may enjoy having someone else besides us. Anyway there is someone coming that I want you to see anyway. He's actually a surprise for Syaoran too, an old relative."

Tomoyo sighed. There was no point in arguing the topic to death. Sakura never subsided and neither did Tomoyo. She would just have to let it be and left the conversation unfinished.

"Tomoyo, Tomoyo!!" There was a tug on the ends of Tomoyo's skirt and she looked down to see the angelic face of an auburn haired child. The spitting image of a young Sakura.

She set down her glass and bent down to lift the young child into her arms and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "There's my favorite kiddo in the whole wide world. My little Nadeshinko." The arms of the young child wrapped around her neck and squeezed her just as fiercely as her mother had.

"Did you bring me anything from your work?" She whispered in Tomoyo's ear, trying to conceal her words from her own mother, but like her mother the child was not a master of discretion.

"Nadeshinko! That is not why Tomoyo-chan is here. She can't always bring you gifts. You cannot be so greedy." Sakura reprimanded the young girl.

"Its okay Sakura." Tomoyo turned her attention back to the little pixie in her arms. "Well, I don't know. It is your daddy's birthday. So I had to bring him something too. But lets see what else fell into the bag." She knelt down with the girl still in her arms and reached into the shopping bag Sakura now held for her and pulled out a stuffed dog. "Oh Willy, how did you get in there?" Tomoyo held the dog in front of Nadeshinko's face. "This is Willy. He likes to sit in my office with me at work and talks to me sometimes. When you pet him, he's gets happy and wags his tail. Go on. Pet him."

Nadeshinko patted the stuffed dog's head with hesitance and the dog immediately came to life, with a bark and a frantic wag of the tail. The little girl giggled with glee when Tomoyo touched the toy's nose to hers and pushed it into her arms. "I think Willy will have much more fun with you in your room than he will in my office, so I think I'll leave him with you, ok?"

The child nodded and then wriggled from her arms to go play with her new toy.

Tomoyo stood straight and pulled her dress back into its place. She looked up and caught sight of Sakura's scowl. "You spoil her."

Tomoyo rolled her eyes. "So does Syaoran, he's just not as blatant about it. But I can confirm that his account at Daidouji toys is a hefty one."

"Why did you have to go and tell her that?" A voice spoke up behind her. Tomoyo turned and was face to face with Syaoran. She smiled and gave him a hug.

"Happy birthday Syaoran. Here." She took the shopping bag from Sakura and handed it to him.

"Thanks Tomoyo." He gave her a peck on the cheek. "So did she tell you about the surprise? She said its for both of us."

"Hmmm, yes, she mentioned something. But I'm hoping she kept her promise and that my half of the surprise isn't a set up." She laughed.

Syaoran laughed with her. "Don't worry Tomoyo. I'm on your side. I keep telling her that you don't need to be set up. You are beautiful enough to rope them in yourself." She gave him a trademark Tomoyo smile and gave her excuses to go mingle.

Instead of going around meeting people, Tomoyo went outside for a smoke. She wasn't in the mood to mingle and make small pointless conversation with anyone. Besides, the only people she would talk to at these parties besides Sakura and Syaoran were Touya and Yukito, but they had yet to arrive.

She stood on the balcony of their third story apartment. Inside she could see people talking, laughing, and a few already swaying to the melody of their liquor. Wanting to be in that state herself, she took her glass on wine that had been sitting on the stone railing and finished it off. She turned out to face the night sky and looked up at its magnificence. It was a clear night, wonderful for stargazing.

"Looks like you need a refill." A husky male voice called from behind her.

To be Continued


	5. A Surprise with Wine

Disclaimer: you know it, I know it, the owners of ccs know, it. That all rights belong to them, not me. Just borrowing the character, nothing else.

"Looks like you need a refill." A husky male voice called from behind Tomoyo.

She rolled her eyes. There was no doubt in her mind that this was Sakura's little 'surprise' set up that she had been planning all along. But she was in no mood to entertain any suitors today.

She turned around to face her pursuer with every intention to flatly reject him when she met his eyes. "Oh my." She gasped to herself quietly. She had never seen a man quite so beautiful. If this was Sakura's surprise then she welcomed it with open arms. Tomoyo regained her composure as fast she could, but found it very difficult to breathe as she spoke, "Are you Sakura's little surprise and me and Syaoran?"

He nodded. "Yes, I am." His voice was deep and seemed to shake Tomoyo.

"Then I must say, she did an excellent job. To be quite honest, I had intended on telling you to go away just now, but I think you might be worth my time." She accepted the wine glass from him and her hand grazed his, and she swore there was a spark.

"Flatterer." He spoke gently. "But thank you nonetheless." He ran a well sculpted hand through his chestnut hair and smiled. It was a Li clan smile, and Tomoyo recognized it as the one that captured her best friend's heart as well. He extended the same hand out to her. "I'm Syaoran's cousin Sui-mun by the way."

Tomoyo dated Sui-mun for months, the first real relationship she had had in years. She immediately cut off her relations with Touya to be with Syaoran's enchanting cousin, and I am starting to make myself sick. This is really quite disgusting to read. Sorry to have done this to you. It was just too easy of a practical joke with all of you begging and pleading that the mystery man be Eriol. But of course now I have given my real intentions away, and I suppose I can get on to the real story. Smile people!!!! I'm not that cruel!!!

What She Needs- A Surprise with Wine

"Looks like you need a refill." A male's voice called from behind Tomoyo's back.

She rolled her eyes. There was no doubt in her mind that this was Sakura's little 'surprise' set up that she had been planning all along. But she was in no mood to entertain any suitors today.

She turned around to face her pursuer with every intent to flatly reject him when she met his eyes. Their sapphire depths seemed to pierce her for a moment and Tomoyo found herself drowning in familiarity.

She quickly regained her composure and took the glass of wine from him, taking a sip to calm her nerves. She eyed him carefully from behind her glass. This was no member of the Li clan. For one thing, he didn't have the distinct features of a Li member and he clearly was not Chinese. If it hadn't been for his comment in Japanese earlier, she might have even questioned him being part Japanese.

His blue eyes never strayed from her, even as the wisps of his azure bangs grazed his long eyelashes with the wind. He looked like the personification of night in his dark blue dress shirt, rolled up sleeves, and black slacks. He stood unmoving as Tomoyo's eyes examined him with no response save for the amused smirk he wore.

Tomoyo took another sip of her wine and leaned back with her elbows propped up on the railing.

"Well you certainly cannot be this cousin of Syaoran that Sakura keeps rambling about. But you are the surprise, are you not?" She pulled out a cigarette from her purse and as she expected, he pulled out a silver cased lighter and helped her light it.

"I am." Tomoyo offered him a cigarette but he refused. "I don't smoke, thanks."

Tomoyo cocked an eyebrow. "How interesting that you have a lighter and don't smoke." She raised her violet eyes to meet his, still looking for the reason she was so drawn to him.

He fingered the lighter for a moment before returning it to his pant pocket. "You never know when you will meet an enchanting lady such as yourself that will be needing it."

Impressive, but Tomoyo was by no means ready to let him get the best of her. "Funny, I distinctly remember Sakura saying the surprise was a relative of Syaoran, but you Sir clearly cannot be."

"I'm a relative of sorts. If you let your mind free from the confines of the word 'relative', you could say there are ties between myself and Syaoran." His voice was deep and almost seemed to hum at her with its melodious tone. It tugged once again at her inkling that she knew this man already.

She turned back to the view and thought for long moments, taking several puffs of her cigarette. A smile played on her lips. "And how was it you came to find yourself in Tomaeda once again Hirizagawa-san?"

She felt him smile behind her and faced him to confirm her feeling. He strode from out of the door way, closing it behind him to take a place next to her on the railing. "Well done for someone that cannot sense me as Syaoran and Sakura can. She knew I was here long before I realized she was in the airport as well, picking up Syaoran's sisters. He took a sip from his glass of scotch. "I'm here on some business."

"Business? If I remember correctly, you had quite a fortune stashed in that mansion of yours from Clow Reed." She stared at him unblinkingly, and without embarrassment. He could not stir her now; now that he did not have his mystery hand to play.

"What Clow considered a fortune back then is not nearly comparable these days, with inflation and all. But it has kept me living comfortably in England. Actually the business I was referring to is more of a leisurely hobby. I'm here to record some of my compositions.

"You really must meet Tomoyo-chan Sui-mun. She so sweet and kind. You'll fall in love with her the moment you meet her, most men do." Sakura guided Syaoran's second cousin toward the balcony. "See there she is." She pointed out then noticed Tomoyo's companion. "Oh dear. I suppose we were too late. Its alright, you two really weren't right for each other. Lets let them continue their conversation."

Sakura spun Sui-mun around and steer him away by the shoulders, but not without looking over her shoulder at Tomoyo and her new found friend with a smile.

To be continued.

Okay, I know that was dangerously short and I could get shot for pulling that trick and posting something so short. Soooooo, as a new years treat, and as my last post of 2002 (the last palindrome for the next thousand years) I have decided to let you all go celebrate with minds somewhat at more ease because I am posting another chapter. BTW, this is likely to never happen again.


	6. Changes

Disclaimer: you know it, I know it, the owners of ccs know, it. That all rights belong to them, not me. Just borrowing the character, nothing else.

What She Needs- Changes

"You've changed quite a lot haven't you Daidouji-san?"

Tomoyo took a deep breath of her cigarette. "How so?"

"You smoke and drink for example." He made a hand gesture toward her pack of cigarettes near by and her second glass of wine that was nearly empty.

Tomoyo giggled. "Hardly anything to base being different on. After all, the last time we met we were nine. Hardly the age to be drinking and smoking. You drink now as well." She lifted his nearly empty scotch glass and gently shook it to make the ice cubes ring against the glass, before finishing it for him. A little maneuver she liked to use at bars when picking up men. Though here, it was more like a game. Who could get the best out of each other?

Eriol smiled his bemused smile. "Indeed. You were very witty when we were young, although now there is bite to your wit." He looked out at the night sky and a gust of wind caught his hair, sending it in flight for a moment before his tendrils settle back in place, only slightly disheveled. Once again Tomoyo watched him and thought to herself that he had changed as well. He still had the same aura about him. He was always a complete enigma and he still was, but now there was a higher level of sophistication about him. He used to have every intention of being mysterious, and enjoyed it. Even more, he wanted to be caught since that was his mission. Now he simply was mysterious by nature, but every so often the real Eriol escaped in a smile, or a gleam of his eyes and one could die trying to find out why he smiled or gleamed so.

"You have changed in other ways Daidouji-san." His voice lifted her away from her thoughts. "You aren't the wide-eyed Tomoyo-chan that Sakura keeps making you out to be. You no longer hide behind your video camera, you no longer fawn over Sakura like she is a doll, and you speak as if the world is yours to own rather than before when you were just a guest in the world that belonged to someone else." He stared straight at her, his eyes unwavering, piercing at her skin. "There are no more dreams of designing, directing, or finding love for the president of Daidouji Toys is there?"

Tomoyo held his gaze, not sure what would happen if she broke it. She would not show how that comment made her feel inside, like collapsing into tears. She would only show the Tomoyo she showed everyone. Strong. "Those were just dreams Hirizagawa-san. Silly dreams for a silly girl. But at you can see now, I am a grown woman with responsibilities and a life that needs managing. Not all of us are so fortunate that we can pursue the dreams of our childhood as you have with your music." She could feel her voice beginning to quiver and lose its sharpness. So she softened her voice and lowered her glare to her cigarette. She put it out against the railing and threw it to the ground below. "People grow up, and there is a time when you just have to take your whimsical dreams and lock them up in a trunk or a closet, so that they can be replaced with more sensible dreams."

Cool fingers touched her chin, raising her eyes to look at him. He smiled warmly at her; the first warm and comforting smile she had ever seen Eriol give. "I never thought any of your dreams were just whimsical. They were very sensible dreams for a person like you. Why deny your talents Tomoyo? And love? Love is never just a dream, not for anyone, not even you." He took a loose tendril of hair by her face and tucked it behind her ear.

Tomoyo suddenly found it very hard to breathe. He had a power over her, and she would admit that. He could bring things out of her that not even Touya, who she considered closest to her, could do.

He smiled again, but not the comforting smile, rather a smirk. "Enough now with such serious talk." He backed away from her and took her glass of wine from her and drank the remains. "For our first time meeting again, our conversation should be light and quite agitated with uncomfortable silences, should it not?"

Tomoyo took her first deep breath of the night and let it out in a heavy cloud of cold smoke. "Certainly."

"You know, I'm thinking of moving back to Tomaeda. And cleaning out that dusty house I used to live in here. Make it suitable for habitation again." Eriol was quick to change the subject.

"Sounds delightful." Tomoyo replied, never letting her eyes meet his again.

"Yes, and I'm sure Spinel Sun and Nakaru would enjoy being back in Japan permanently. They have missed having playmates. They were practically begging me to let them come tonight." Eriol explained.

"Oh? Did you bring them with you to Japan? It would be wonderful to see them again" Tomoyo remember the two guardians well. They were always quite nice to her.

"Yes. But I didn't want to risk putting Cerebus and Spinal Sun together with so many people around. That and Nakaru with so many people in general is a bad idea. I'll bring them by later." Eriol glanced back in the room. "Oh, Fujitaka is final free of company. I think I'm going to greet my other half now and leave you to your night sky."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. From one of the credit card holders he pulled a business card. "Here's the studio I've been recording at." He wrote something on the back and handed to her. "We really should get together while I'm still in town. Maybe then we can talk about more serious things, ne? That's my cellular on the back if you can't reach me at the studio. We can have lunch, or you can just stop by to see Nakaru or Spinel at the hotel."

Tomoyo accepted the card and nodded.

"I will see you later then." He spoke before he retreated back into the apartment, closing the glass door behind him.

Tomoyo let out a deep sigh quickly fumbled for another cigarette. She grabbed her own lighter from her purse and tried with all effort to steady her nerves enough to spark a flame.

"Here." A strong hand took the lighter from her and lit her cigarette. She took a heavy puff and relaxingly exhaled.

"Thanks." She took the lighter from familiar hands. "So, when did you get here?"

"A while ago." Touya responded. "I would have come greet you earlier, but you were occupied with a guest. If I'm not mistaken, was that Hirizagawa Eriol?"

Tomoyo nodded. She explained why he was back in town and that he might be making living arrangements in Tomaeda again.

"I see. Was that all you two talked about?" He took her by the elbow and led her slightly further into the shadows. "You looked a bit upset earlier while you two were talking."

"It was nothing. We were just having an interesting conversation." Tomoyo replied coyly, placing her pale hand on Touya's well sculpted arm, running her fingers down it seductively.

Touya pulled back slightly and smiled at her. "Interesting? It has been quite a while since I heard the great Daidouji Tomoyo use the word interesting to describe anything!"

Tomoyo giggled. "Well Kinomoto Touya, you are about to hear it again. I happen to think that things are about to get very interesting."

To be continued.

Happy new year everyone. Time to go party. Please be safe about it. Because once it gets unsafe, its no fun anymore!


	7. The Past

Disclaimer: you know it, I know it, the owners of ccs know, it. That all rights belong to them, not me. Just borrowing the character, nothing else.

What She Needs- The Past

Tomoyo unlocked the door to her house and immediately kicked off her shoes and threw of her jacket. She could have sworn that she hadn't left the office all week talking to her new American clients.

Life was sometimes like this for the president of Daidouji toys. It was an endless string of luncheons, dinners, meetings, and courtesy drinks. Apparently this American company had the mentality that its best if the contract was not only sealed by paper, but also friendship.

Friendship, Tomoyo did not need anymore friends. Especially not false faced business friends. All that their friendship would ever mean is that once one company starts to go down the whole, probably theirs, the other would be there to support them financially and get the back to their feet.

Tomoyo released the pins in her bound hair and let it fall free down her back. Over at her mini bar station, she poured herself a glass of red wine and went to her bedroom where she was looking forward to a long luxurious bath.

As she soaked in the warm, lavishing water, her nose filled with the scents of bath oils, her mind finally found to time to wind down and think for itself. Finally idle, she realized that for the first time in years she was not feeling the usual despair she harbored inside. All the work she had done the past week had not left room for despair. But in this moment of idle relaxation, her mind began to wander.

Strangely it wandered to Eriol's words to her the other night, about dreams and aspirations. This wasn't how Tomoyo had pictured her life. But this job just fell in her lap and she never expected that she would have to continue her mother's empire. But they were at a loss and the stock was falling. No one believed that Daidouji toys could survive without the name Daidouji behind it.

* * *

Tomoyo sat alone in her room in her mother's mansion. Her head hung gently as the light shined on her raven hair. Salty tears dropped from her face to soil the lap of her dress. In her hand, a silver frame picture of her mother, Sonomi, and Sakura's mother Nadeshinko.

She reached out a pale index finger and caressed her mother's image. "Oh Mother, were you ever really happy? Am I destined to follow your footsteps?"

She wondered what her mother's dreams had once been. She wasn't convinced that her dream was the toy company. It couldn't have been. Aside from loving Nadeshinko, Tomoyo had no idea what stirred passion in her mother's heart.

It looked as though she was destined for the same end, and one day her daughter would ask the same questions and not know the answers.

"I was such a fool to have other dreams. This is real life Tomoyo. You knew a day would come when you would get the company. Why did you harbor such foolish dreams?" Tomoyo scolded herself.

She immediately went to the chest at the foot of her bed where she kept the video tapes of Sakura capturing the cards. She opened it and began stuffing other things into it, costumes she had made, other tapes of Sakura and her friends, and anything that would remind her of the life she must now put away. The last item to go in was the picture of her mother with her only love.

From her dresser she took an old school lock and sealed the chest before pushing it deep into her closet.

A knock came on the door and Tomoyo quickly wiped away her tears. "Who is it?"

"Mistress Daidouji, the company CEOs are here along with your lawyers with the paperwork you need to sign." Her housekeeper's voice replied from the other side.

"I will be down in just a minute."

* * *

"Just like that Tomoyo-chan? You are going to quit school?" Sakura exclaimed late one night in their dorm room.

Tomoyo nodded. "I have no reason to stay here. I have already signed the papers that turn the company over to me. I have a job to do now. Besides…" Tomoyo added mournfully, "You might like having the room to yourself. Now I won't be in the way when you want to spend time with Syaoran, ne?"

Sakura rose from her bed and climbed into Tomoyo's lying next to her, hugging her waist. "You are never in the way Tomoyo-chan."

Tomoyo sighed. "Yes I am Sakura-chan. Don't try to convince me that I am not. I accepted it a long time ago. That's why I try to stay out of your way." She touched Sakura's hair tenderly and let out a deep sigh. "I go on dates for you Sakura-chan. You are always telling me to, and I know you want to see me happy. I don't know that I will find happiness in any of these people, but I go anyhow, for your sake. I will keep looking, for you sake. This way you don't have to worry for me and my happiness mustn't be your concern."

Sakura was crying now, clutching her best friend tightly around the waist and weeping on her shoulder. Tomoyo hushed her and continued to stroke her soft auburn hair. "Don't cry Sakura-chan. It is not as if you are losing me. I am still your friend, and I will still be here for you. Just not in this room night after night. We have to make choices sometimes and our choices have consequences. This is something I had to do."

"Hai." Sakura nodded against her shoulder.

* * *

Tomoyo splashed the bath water on her face to steady her nerves. She almost wished the business negotiations were still progressing so that she could avoid thinking again.

As the water grew cold, Tomoyo finally lifted herself from the tub and pulled a towel around her shivering body. She faced the mirror of her vanity and saw that her eyes were red and swollen from crying. She wet a wash cloth with cold water and dabbed the bags below her eyes tenderly. She was tired of dwelling in her emotions. She needed a distraction.

She drained the tub and pulled on her robe before exiting the bathroom. She hastily went to the telephone and dialed that familiar number.

"Hi you got Touya's phone. I won't be picking up today because I promised Yukito I would take no calls on his birthday. So just leave me a message and I will call you at 12:01 am if I can, which I doubt I can."

Tomoyo snapped. She had forgotten that it was Yukito-san's birthday today. Which meant she had forgotten the birthday luncheon she was supposed to have with everyone to celebrate this afternoon. She quickly hung up the phone and pulled out her address book before dialing another number.

"Hi, you have reached Yukito and Touya's answering machine. We are out, or choosing not to pick up the phone. Which Touya does from time to time. So leave us a message."

The machine beeped and Tomoyo spoke hastily. "Its me, Daidouji-san. I just called to say Happy Birthday Yukito and I am dreadfully sorry that I missed the lunch today. I was held up with work and I should have called to apologize then. Anyhow, I hope you are having a wonderful birthday. Bye now."

She hung up the phone. What would she do now? It was still very early in the evening and she had no wishes to spend the night alone in an empty mansion just to explore her thoughts. She considered going to the club, but it was eighteen up night and there were nothing but kiddies there trying to get drunk without luck.

Tomoyo tapped her fingers on the dresser top. She had no choice but to find a way to distract herself. She took her addressbook and stuffed it back into her bag. When she did so, she noticed a card where lying where she had picked up her address book. It must have been sitting there for a least a week now since Tomoyo hadn't gotten any numbers since she started the American negotiations. She picked it up and noticed it was the card that Eriol had given her.

She opened the number drawer and tossed it in, wondering why she had left it out.

She began to walk away, deciding to go make something to eat when she went back and pulled out the card. "Its not as if I am breaking my tradition really." She spoke softly to herself. "I did know Eriol from before and I didn't even do anything with him. Besides, I do want to see Nakaru and Spinel again." She sighed, knowing something was changing. She never returned calls. She was only trying to rationalize her actions, but inwardly she still felt like she was fooling herself. She picked up the phone and dialed.

To be continued

Phew that was a long one. I got a bit carried away.


	8. The NonDate

Disclaimer: you know it, I know it, the owners of ccs know, it. That all rights belong to them, not me. Just borrowing the character, nothing else.

Wow, sorry. I've been swamped with work and didn't realize I had not posted in so long. Hmmmm. Oh well, I'll try to be better about it, but now that the holidays are over, I just don't have the time on my hands much. But I will make a genuine effort.

What She Needs- The Non-date

The door opened and Tomoyo was greeted by an enthusiastic hug by a tall brown haired girl with ruby colored eyes. "Tomoyo-chan! Its so exciting to see you! You look absolutely adorable!!" The older woman childishly snatched up Tomoy's hand bag. "Is that Versace?!? Where did you get the hair ribbon to match!? I'm so jealous."

Tomoyo laughed, Nakaru-san very much reminded her of Sakura sometimes, except perhaps on a more intense level. "It's nice to see you again Nakaru."

"Eriol-sama told us you were coming tonight for dinner. But he won't let Suppi-chan and I go." Nakaru's animated pout expressed her disdain for the decision, but only for a moment.

"Its not that I won't let you Nakaru, its that you shouldn't." Eriol came out of one of the bedrooms of the suite they stayed in. For the second time, Eriol once again managed to make Tomoyo catch her breath just slightly. Even dressed casually in dockers and a navy sweater, he still seemed to have an untouchable mist about him. He flashed her a quick smile and turned back to Nakaru.

"For one thing, we are going out to eat and that means we cannot take Spinel-Sun. Two, you both already ate dinner. Three, you stuffed Spinel-Sun with so many sweets that he is feeling ill and needs to be taken care of."

Tomoyo smiled, mentally picturing the wild Azuki-san chasing her loving toy Suppi around the suite with candies and cookies.

By this point Nakaru's head hung low as if she had been scolded by her angry parent rather than Eriol who had just been pointing out the facts. Tomoyo now felt like their dinner was becoming an inconvenience. "If Suppi-chan is sick, we don't have to go to dinner. I can just get something on my way back. You should stay and care for him."

Eriol drew his attention to Tomoyo. "No, it's fine. This happens quite a lot. More often then you would think. Spinel will be fine in an hour or so. Would you like to go see him? Maybe seeing a raven beauty will lift his spirits, it always did when we were in Tomoeda the first time."

Tomoyo had to control the flush that she felt rising from her neck. "Anything to help." She responded calmly with a nod. As she followed Eriol into one of the rooms, she took a moments to notice that Eriol had grown physically into the man that his personality always dictated him to be. Though it was hardly a muscle shirt, the way his sweater pulled in certain places implied a lean muscular physique beneath.

"Good evening Daidouji-san." A low tone voice caught her attention and she looked up quickly and met eyes with the little black creature sitting on an enormous bed for his size, legs stretched out in front of him and cheeks rosy from what looked like exhaustion.

"Good evening Spinel-sun. I have heard you had quite a delectable meal tonight, but it doesn't sit well with you. I hope that you feel well soon."

The seemingly stuff creature gave a swift nod. "Arigato Daidouji-san. Your concern makes me feel well already." It gave her and whole-hearted smile before looking over to his master. "I do not want to hold the two of you up any longer. Eriol-sama had a long day, and I'm am sure you have as well Daidouji-san. Do not let your stomachs growl a moment longer on account of me."

Eriol and Tomoyo both nodded and left the room.

As they left the suite, they past a still pouting Nakaru and bid her farewell. Once they were outside, Eriol turned to Tomoyo, "Well, any particular preference for dinner?"

She shook her head. She felt rather foolish making Eriol choose where they would dine tonight. She was the native to this town and he had not been in Tomoeda for years.

"Well, one of my producers recommended a restaurant just down the street called the Waterfall. Would you mind dining there?" He asked as they rode the elevator down to the lobby.

"Waterfall would be just fine, I have eaten there on occasion or two."

When they exited the hotel they were overrun by valets and hotel attendants asking if they needed a cab. Eriol politely shook his head, and replied, "It's quite alright, we are walking tonight." After making the statement he turned to Tomoyo and gave her questioning look. "It is fine that we walk isn't it. The restaurant is not far down the street."

Tomoyo nodded and smiled. "What do you take me for Hirizagawa-san? A prissy little girl that can't walk two feet in a pair of shoes she chose to wear for fashion sense?" She grinned at her own retort. Somehow it had been hard for her this whole time to be the witty and sharp tongued Daidouji around Eriol. But she would never admit that it might be because of intimidation; because of the fact that he was the only one in years to come along and match wits with her.

Eriol let out an amused laugh but did not reply her in the short time it took to walk to the restaurant.

They seated in the front corner next to a curtained window. Although Tomoyo had dined at the restaurant before, tonight if felt more intimate than she had remembered. Perhaps because her other experiences had been in the day with the bright light shining through the windows. Then the place seemed more suited for groups of women to gather for lunch. Yet now with a soft moon running about in the dark sky and the gentle lighting of crystal chandeliers above them, it seemed more like a place for lovers to hide away from the eyes of others.

The atmosphere unnerved Tomoyo. She hadn't expected to dine at a lover's spot. But if she was not aware that the restaurant had this sort of potential, surely a semi-stranger to Tomoeda such as Eriol was absent minded to it as well.

She looked up at him, and he seemed unaffected by the place. He was gazing thoughtfully at his menu, unaware of the restaurant and seemingly unaware of her presence across the table. Tomoyo was not sure if this bothered her or not, after all, that was not the intention for the night.

"I think I will have the salmon." He raised his eyes from the menu and they immediately met hers. "You?"

Tomoyo quickly looked down at her menu and picked the first entrée she saw. "Linguini and clams." She took a sip of the water that had been poured for them, wishing that it was something stronger that could numb her a bit. She wasn't sure what was happening, but she was tired of having to feel it.

To be continued


	9. The Caregiver

Disclaimer: you know it, I know it, the owners of ccs know, it. That all rights belong to them, not me. Just borrowing the character, nothing else.

Wow, sorry. I've been swamped with work and didn't realize I had not posted in so long. Hmmmm. Oh well, I'll try to be better about it, but now that the holidays are over, I just don't have the time on my hands much. But I will make a genuine effort.

What She Needs- A care giver

Eriol opened the driver side door of Tomoyo's black E class and took her by the hand, helping her into the car. It was an interesting experience for Tomoyo.

"Well, thank you again for the evening."

Eriol continued to hold the door open as he spoke, "Not at all, drive safely."

Tomoyo smiled and drew her other leg into the car. "I will. So I'll see you later."

Eriol nodded and closed the door for her. "Goodnight."

He turned and retreated into the hotel doors and Tomoyo watched him enter before driving off. It had certainly been an interesting evening, although she couldn't quite put her finger of why. It had been like any dinner she had ever had with Syaoron when Sakura was away.

They spoke about casual things like work and a bit about the past, just enough for both of them to be comfortable. Yet Tomoyo still found herself enjoying the company of another person more than usual and certainly in a different way.

* * *

Tomoyo sat up in a cold sweat. She threw off the thin sheet that covered her sleeping form and went to the window to open it. A cool breeze whipped past her, making her moist skin chill for a second.

She took a few deep breaths of the cool air before a sick feeling in her stomach overcame her and she desperately needed to be face to face with a toilet.

Tomoyo wiped her mouth with a damp towel as she exited the bathroom. That had been a fowl experience, especially since she was conscious enough to actually have to experience it. She gingerly lied down on her bed with the towel still resting on her mouth. She looked to her side at her clock, it was nearly 5 am. She let her head fall to the pillow, but it didn't stay there long until she was up and running to the bathroom once again.

* * *

Tomoyo stared blankly at the plate of food before her that her housekeeper had made. It went cold long ago and was still untouched. She knew the one bite would make her sick, and send her running. She pushed her plate to the other end of the table, clearing a space before her to rest her head. She had not slept since that first wave of sickness overcame her. Now her eyes were heavy with exhaustions and a deep yawn escaped past her lips. Thankfully the vomiting feeling had subdued and perhaps now she could get some sleep.

The door bell chimed.

Tomoyo groaned and wish she hadn't sent the housekeeper home early. But she had not really seen any reason for her to be around since the house was tidy and she wouldn't be eating for the rest of the day.

She slowly drug herself up, bracing the table as she did. During her slow shuffle to the door she cursed whomever it was for disturbing what might have been the only sleep she would get today. She looked through the door monitor and felt racked with guilt. She looked at the clock and realized what time it was and opened the door with an apology.

"Gomen Eriol, I forgot about our lunch." She spoke quickly.

He shook his head with a smile. "No worry. Your secretary informed me when I arrived at your office that you called in sick."

She opened the door wider and offered that he come in. Doing so, he presented her with a paper bag. "Kihone filled me in a bit on how you were feeling, so I brought some clear broth that Kaho used to make for me when I was ill. I don't think she realized that my powers back then healed me faster than any soup could, but it did well enough to ease any symptoms that were not worth exhausting my powers."

Tomoyo gratefully accepted it, although she was pretty sure she wouldn't be able to hold it down either, especially with the mention of Eriol's lover Kaho. Frankly, she found it disturbing that Mizuki sensei and Eriol had a romantic relationship when he was still in elementary school. Slightly pedophilic if anyone had asked her, but no one did, so she kept it to herself. Perhaps now it was more acceptable, since he was older; but she must be older as well, and Tomoyo couldn't help but wonder if she still enticed Eriol in her aging years.

"I wasn't aware that Mizuki-sensei had come with you to Japan, how is it I have yet to see her?" Tomoyo walked along side him to the living room where they sat together on the plush couch.

"She didn't accompany me here. The soup is actually just her recipe, Nakaru and I brewed it up." He took the bag from her and found is way to the kitchen where he allowed himself to rummage through her cabinets looking for a bowl. "Actually Kaho is living in Australia with her fiancée of two years now. She left us all her recipes so that we wouldn't starve. She was quite the cook and was giving Nakaru lessons before she decided to leave."

He returned with a bowl filled with the broth and held it out to her. Tomoyo waved her hand and refused the soup. "I haven't been able to keep anything down."

"That's because there's nothing in your stomach to work with." He held the soup bowl close to her mouth. "You need to eat or drink something. This will give you the energy to make it through the rest of the day."

She looked up at him and took the bowl, taking a big gulp of it before setting it down on the coffee table. "When did things end with Mizuki sensei, if you don't mind me asking."

He sat back on the couch next to her. "I don't mind. Not anymore. It ended shortly after Sakura transformed the cards. I think the magic was just gone and to her I wasn't Clow Reed anymore. We both felt that there wasn't really anything there romantically, but we loved each other anyhow, in a family sort of way. She stayed with me for many years, caring for me, letting me experience the childhood that I wasn't allowed to have. She'll always have a piece my heart as my mother, but only a piece."

Tomoyo openly stared at Eriol, her eyes unblinking. She had not expected such a confession from him. The Eriol Hirigazawa she knew would have been aloof about the whole topic and perhaps just turned the tables on her, but he spoke so openly to her.

Eriol, who had been deep in the thoughts of his own words drew away from his trance and smiled at her. "Enough about that." He picked up the bowl and gave it to her and she took another drink, this time finishing the bowl. "So is it just a bug?"

"Is what a bug?" Tomoyo began to get up to take the bowl to the kitchen and when Eriol took it from her hands and did so himself.

"What you have."

"Oh. Its an allergy to shellfish." Tomoyo replied.

"Must have been the clams you had last night. Did you know you were allergic?" He rinsed the bowl, giving it a quick scrub before drying it and placing it back in the cupboard where he found it.

"It must have just slipped my mind last night." She was glad his back was turned as she said it, just in case her face showed signs of embarrassment.

* * *

Eriol stayed with her for most of the afternoon, just talking about less dramatic topics. He had been making some tea when he caught sight of the pile of mail on the countertop. He pulled out one of the opened envelopes and held it out to her. "So you were invited to Madam Chatlier's ball as well?"

Tomoyo looked back at him and nodded. "She has invited me every year since I took control of Daidouji Toys. I suppose that makes me one of the elites. Besides my mother used to attend them, so by tradition, I suppose she was obligated to invite the next of kin. You know about that party?"

Eriol put the envelope down. "She invited me as well. I think word of my music traveled to her. I'm not quite sure if she wants me there as a guest or as a performer. If it is the latter, I do not plan to attend."

"Oh? Don't take performance jobs do you?" Tomoyo cocked an eyebrow. He was recording his music for a record label, why should he be so opposed to performing his music live for others?

"Not ones where I am simply a lounge player with a ridiculously large brandy glass for tips. I'd rather be appreciated by people who actually listen to my music by choice and in a respectable music hall." He took the two tea cups over to the coffee table and handed one to Tomoyo.

She took a quick sip then smiled. "I'm sure she invited you as a guest. Madam Chatlier is not forward. If she wants you to play, she would invite you and then casually mention to everyone what a talented musician you are until everyone is breathing down your back to play a piece."

Eriol laughed, a comforting sound to Tomoyo. "And what about you? Will you be attending the ball?"

Tomoyo shook her head as she drew her knees to her chest. "She doesn't really want me there. Like I said, she invites me for reputation's and title's sake. So every year I regretfully decline her offer and we are both happy."

"Oh, and why wouldn't she want you there?" Eriol cocked and eyebrow and gave her a stare that sent the blood rushing to her face.

Tomoyo was silent for long moments. She knew why she was a bad apple in the eyes of the elite, even in the eyes of people close to her. Sometimes she even thought Sakura believed the same of her, even though she tried her best to hide such things from her best friend. If she couldn't explain things to Sakura, how could she ever explain them to him?

She turned her head down, looking at her knees drawn to her chest. "I'm just not much of the socialite." She let a breath escape from her mouth after she muttered the words then looked up at him. He had been staring at her.

"I understand." He spoke quietly before rising to his feet. He looked at the grandfather clock in the room. "Its getting quite late. I shouldn't have kept you up all day, you need rest. I think I'll be going now."

Tomoyo began to rise to walk him out when he put a hand on her shoulder, gently pushing back down on the couch.

"Its alright, I can show myself out. Save you strength. Goodnight Daidouji-san."

She nodded and watched as he retreated through the door behind her.

To be continued


	10. Charms and Spells

Disclaimer: you know it, I know it, the owners of ccs know, it. That all rights belong to them, not me. Just borrowing the character, nothing else.

Ok, well long leave of absence, sorry. But I came back, and here is what I think is a long chapter, kind of. Hopefully people haven't given up on me. And if it feels like I am getting no where, I am, just VERY SLOWLY. But the time will come, soon.

What She Needs- Charms and Spells

'Why not? Why not get involved with him? It could turn out well. It could also turn out to be hell. But you are a risk taker. And really, what are you risking really? Your heart?' Tomoyo listened to the mental battles taking place in her mind, all of which were induced by the man across the table. 'What is so valuable to you that you wouldn't get on with it?...His friendship…….But you have plenty of friends, Sakura, Syaoran, Nadeshinko. This was enough for you before. But none of them are him.'

"So I guess I've been roped into the ball." Eriol finished his story, most of which Tomoyo was only half listening to.

"That's a pity." She spoke in a low voice, taking a sip from her wine glass.

"Oh come now Daidouji-san. I know you are one for going against the grain sometimes, but think of it this way: if the Madam doesn't expect you to show, will it not be a splendid surprise when you do?"

Tomoyo let out a sarcastic chuckle and promptly replied, "No." Eriol gave her a set of azure puppy dog eyes that almost changed her answer, but she stood strong. "I wouldn't bother Eriol. When it comes to matters of pride, I can be a stubborn woman. And I have no plans to put on a façade for some five hours plus of the night."

Eriol smirked. "Oh really? It seems to me there is some dissonance between attitude and action with you."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Tomoyo cocked an eyebrow. She knew very well what he meant by that, but she wanted to hear him say it. To tell her that she never fooled him and he knew that she had been playing a game this whole time with him. To tell her that everything she had showed him for the two weeks he had been here been fake.

Eriol only smiled and looked away.

Tomoyo had prepared herself for the deepest conversation of her life, but he hadn't delivered. In response she rebuilt the wall between them. "I have one played out phrase for you Eriol." She swirled her wine glass, watching the red liquid wash against the walls of the fine glassware. A sad smile played on her lips. "No, means no."

Eriol pouted, but did not pursue the desired answer any further. "So…" He took the napkin from his lap and placed it on the table. "Are we done here?"

Tomoyo felt a quick stab of pain at those words. As if they had been taken out of context and he meant something other than if they were ready to leave.

'You should just go for it. He's an attractive man, you are an attractive woman. If this was a club and he was a stranger, he would be in the sack with you by tonight. But this isn't a club and we aren't strangers. He's Eriol. He knows me. How can I do that to him? Take him to bed and toss him like old meat… it would inevitably change things between us. Not that it would usually matter in most cases, but it does here. I feel honest around him, so honest that I almost feel ashamed for not being honest. In a sick way, I don't want that to change for a one night stand…Why does it have to be one night?'

"Would you like to come in?" Tomoyo unlocked her front door and opened it, stepping in. "I can make us some tea."

If he accepted, this could very much be it. This could be the night when she risks what could be a real friendship for one night of what she hoped would be pure orgasmic bliss. Anything less would make it a horrible trade. She wasn't even sure it was such a fair trade anyhow.

"That sounds quite enticing," he responded, following her into her abode.

Tomoyo's eyes widened, but for only a moment before she closed the door behind her. 'He agreed. And he used the word enticing. Just what is so enticing about tea? Nothing, that's right, nothing. What must be enticing is the prospect of what tea leads to. He is already a few steps ahead?'

She hurried herself to the kitchen to make some tea and declined any assistance that Eriol had offered. So instead he made himself comfortable on the living room couch.

Tomoyo found herself breathing heavily and there was a slight quiver in her hands as she poured the scalding hot water into the teapot. She had no reason to be shaking. She was a pro, one who could out match the famed seductresses of the world, all while still keeping her reputation somewhat sound.

She took a deep breath, before walking out of the kitchen completely composed. She found Eriol admiring her grand piano. 'God, that thing hasn't been used in years.' She set down the tea tray on the coffee table and went to him. "You are welcome to play it instead of undressing its notes with your eyes."

He looked up at her with his azure eyes. 'Hmmm, did the undress comment get to him?'

"No thank you, I don't play for people remember?" He spoke quietly and added a charmed smile.

Tomoyo nodded with raised eyebrows, her eyes wandering in thought as she replied, "Yeah." She looked around some more and spotted the tea tray. "Tea?"

With a polite nod he went to the couch and took a tea cup for himself. Tomoyo slowly poured the tea into his cup, careful not to spill with her shakes. When she finished, she took her own cup and sat down next to him, trying to relax against the back of the sofa, appearing casual. She was trying to think of a plan. Somehow she didn't think her club techniques would do it, after all this was not a club and he wasn't going to be as easy as some club trash.

She drew her legs to the side of her onto the couch. The position flattered her shapely legs. It had pulled her knee length skirt up just slightly, revealing the soft pale skin of her thighs. In the same motion, she slightly leaned towards him, brushing against him gently before settling back into place, merely centimeters from him. "So, tell me why is it you are still in town?"

He took another cool sip of his tea. "You know why, my music."

Tomoyo let out an exhaled chuckle and tossed her hair over her shoulder. "I said why are you STILL in town. You told me you were done recording remember?"

"So I did." His voice was low and emotionless. For a moment Tomoyo was reminded of the child Eriol, who had always used that tone with her when they were young. "But I also said I was considering moving back, did I not?"

Tomoyo did remember. He had mentioned something about that when they had their first conversation at Syaoran's party. She smiled. "But why Eriol? What does Tomoeda have to offer someone who has traveled the world and back again among the backs of his mystical winged creatures? Has something in small quaint Tomoeda sparked the interest of the ever so powerful reincarnation of Clow Reed?" She leaned over to place her cup back onto the table, intentionally letting her hair fall from her shoulders in a vast curtain of silky raven hair. Her tendril brushed lightly against his arms, tickling his soft ivory skin.

His eyes followed the strand of hair grazing his arm until it left with the flick of Tomoyo's head. "There are things about this town."

Tomoyo watched his gaze follow her hair and grinned with a spark of confidence. He was already being drawn in by the bait and would be reeled in shortly. She let out a gentle murmur, so soft it could have been mistaken for a purr. "What things might those be?"

"Charms." His reply was simple at first. His eyes were blank for a moment as he stared at her fire place. "Fire" he whispered quietly. As soon as the sounds escaped his lips, the seal of clow appeared from the palm of his hand and floated toward the fireplace. Soon after, the embers of a golden fire blazed from the logs within.

"Hmmm, cozy." Tomoyo adjusted, positioning herself closer to the radiating heat of Eriol's body. Her lavender scent filled his nose, numbing his senses. A few tresses of midnight hair fell and grazed its owner's eyelashes, causing them to flutter to a closed position. When they opened, his azure eyes were met with passionate violet ones, lined with deceptive gray flecks, merely inches from his.

Tomoyo watched as Eriol's form began to close the gap between them. His eyes rested heavily on the sight of her lips. She leaned forward, enough that the curves of her breasts caressed his side, reminding him that this woman before him was a sexual goddess. She enjoyed every moment of the foreplay, so much that she wasn't sure she wanted it to end. She was ready to see what he would offer in the bedroom, but it seemed that he had many other things to offer that she had over looked.

A gentle smile played on both their lips as Tomoyo brushed those silk strands of hair from his face. Her lips grazed past his cheek as she traveled to his ear, only to whisper quietly, "Play something for me." As is momentarily drawn from his trance, Eriol turned to look at her gale face smiling wickedly at him.

She pulled away as he rose from the couch, striding over to the piano where he took a seat at the bench. Soon the rich melody of Pachabel's Canon began to fill the room. Tomoyo remembered the song from her younger years when she had taken piano lessons. Though he played it as she had never heard it. She rose to her feet and joined him on the piano bench. She could feel the notes vibrating from the floor and off his body.

Just as easily as he had fallen into her lavender spell, Tomoyo found herself as easily trapped in the spell of his notes. She hadn't even realized that her head had begun to droop and rest against his shoulder.

Eriol looked to his side when he felt her make contact with his shoulder. Her eyes had fallen into a closed position as her breathing steadied. He began to play softer, so he wouldn't disturb her. Her resting form did not seem to notice. He wondered if she had fallen asleep because if she had, he would regret having the task of waking her, for she looked so at peace and more angelic that he had seen in his days.

"Tomoyo?" He spoke quietly.

"Hmm?" Her respond was soft and heavy with sleep.

"Are you still awake?" He proded again, not knowing if the response had actually been an aware one.

"Just barely…"

"I see." He replied. Still his hands worked their magic on the piano, but gently worked their way to the close of the song. Eriol sat in thought, and wondered what to do, and if whatever he chose could be considered a noble gesture. Resolved with himself, he spoke again. "Tomoyo?"

She stirred gently. "Yes?"

Eriol sighed deeply. "Come with me to Madam Chatlier's." He looked to see if the question would draw her further from her pending sleep.

There was no movement from Tomoyo aside from the gentle movement of her lips forming the word, "yes."

To be continued


	11. Respectable Intentions

Disclaimer: you know it, I know it, the owners of ccs know, it. That all rights belong to them, not me. Just borrowing the character, nothing else.

Sorry this one is a short one. But I felt like I just needed to post and there isn't any more I can go with this chapter. So here it is.

What She Needs- respectable intentions

Tomoyo had realized what she had done soon after the word escaped her breath. Shock ran through her body at first, terrified that somehow he managed to have that kind of mind numbing effect on her. Her head still rested on Eriol's shoulder until the song came to its final notes.

With the room deathly silent, Tomoyo finally found herself fully conscious and alert. She wondered if Eriol had done something magical to spellbind her. But why over something as trivial as the ball?

She let it be. He had asked, she had agreed. It was over and done with. She did have to admit that she would have agreed earlier in the night had he kept pursuing her. She moved her body into a straight sitting position and turned to him. "That was lovely. You really are very talented."

"Thank you." Eriol looked at her with a friendly smile before looking at the grandfather clock near by. "It quite late. I think I should be heading out."

Before it could even register in her mind to say something to keep him near, he was up and at the door.

Tomoyo hurriedly joined him and helped him with his coat. "It is very late, are you sure you want to go? Granted Tomoeda isn't the most dangerous city, it still has its fiends."

"I'll be fine Daidouji-san."

He reached for the door handle and she made one last attempt to spend time with him tonight. "Why don't I drive you?"

He smiled at her, and Tomoyo felt her panicked feeling wash away. "I have the rental. I drove tonight remember?"

Tomoyo shrunk back just slightly. She did remember and surrendered. He obviously did not have the same intentions she had for this night.

"So I will pick you up at seven?" Eriol asked, still standing in the doorway.

"No fashionably late entrance? Surely you know that's just my type of thing." She gave him and award winning smile, determined to still come out the victor tonight.

Eriol smirked before adding, "and surely you know that I prefer to be punctual and that is my type of thing. SO I will be here at seven. Goodnight Daidouji-san." He quickly closed the door behind him, leaving that to be the final say of the night and ending any impending protests from the raven.

Tomoyo scoffed and locked the door behind him. She couldn't believe his nerve. And it got on her nerves. She wished she could be mad at him, but she couldn't. She couldn't deny the little piece of her that was back flipping in joy for the night of the ball. She strode up to her bedroom, alone, but not saddened. Instead, she stood tall and proud with fantasies for the night already dancing in her head.

* * *

Eriol entered his suite practically glowing. He paid no heed to his mystical creatures that had ambushed him at the door, ranting about their latest food feud.

"Eriol-sama?" Nakaru asked when he simply breezed past her. "How was your evening with Tomoyo-chan?"

Turned away from her to hide his beaming expression, he coolly responded, "San." He received a questioning look from both his companions, though unseen by their master. He pulled of his jacket and spread it out on the bed. "Daidouji-san is clearly not a child anymore Nakaru. She is a grown woman. Please use the proper honorific."

Spinel Sun flew in front of Eriol, planting himself between the door to the bathroom and his master to prevent Eriol from escaping the bombardment of questions to come. "Eriol-sama, would I be correct to assume that Tomoyo-san agreed to attend Madam Chatlier's ball with you?"

The room suddenly seemed twice as bright.

"As a matter of fact Spinel, she did." He smirked only for a moment, but long enough for Spinel to suspect foul play.

"Did she agree on her own accord?" Spinal avoided his master's eyes as he danced around his true question.

However, Eriol was in no mood for beating around the bush. "You mean did I use magic? No Spinel, I did not. Unless fatigue is considered magic. True, she may not have been fully alert, but she knew my question. You know as well as I do that sleep numbs the defenses, leading to answers that are truly desired. She gave me the answer she wanted to give me. I used no tricks."

He quickly sidestepped his flying friend and retreated into the bathroom where he was left alone with his thoughts of her.

'Did you really believe what you said Eriol? Does she really want to go? Or did that little magician in you do something to her?' He quickly splashed his face with the cool water in the sink and looked in the mirror. His mind begged the question again. 'Did I trick her?'

For the first time his felt the piercing effect of his own midnight eyes. Their answer was no.

To be continued

Unsatisfying isn't it? Yeah, it was unsatisfying to write it, but you gotta connect the dots. So this is a line.


	12. Don't Put Me on Your Pedestal

Disclaimer: you know it, I know it, the owners of CCS know it. That all rights belong to them, not me. Just borrowing the character, nothing else.

A/N: Sorry about taking a while. Tragic thing happened. I typed up like two to three chapters, saved it on my fic disk, and now the disk is corrupted. Or something. I have yet to figure it out. I think it got formatted for Macs somehow. So yes I had to do a rewrite. Or retype rather. I had a hard copy, but just the basics, filled in a bit in the type. So that's why it took forever. But its here now. So enjoy.

What She Needs- Don't put me on your pedestal

Tomoyo gathered her hair into her hands and piled it atop her head. Many strands immediately fell from her grasp and went to graze her face and shoulders. She turned her head from side to side, analyzing the look in the mirror from every possible angle. With a sigh she let the mass of raven hair tumble down over her.

She felt so restless. She couldn't sit still. She could find anything to do. She couldn't relax. She wished she had a better reason why she was feeling this way, but unfortunately the best she had was her coming date with Eriol. It was still hours away until he would be by. But she already had her dress steam cleaned and it sat flawlessly draped over the chair in the corner by the sunlit window. She showered and hour ago, and dried her hair straight. It was much too early to apply her make up. And she didn't dare eat anything more than some fruit.

She glanced at her nails. They could use a new coat. She picked up the nail polish and set out to work. She hated what was happening to her. She couldn't care less how she looked to these people. She would go to this ball in a tube top and mini skirt if she was just going to go. But she was going for him. And she knew it was the reason she was primping like crazy today.

"I tried to seduce him. I was resolved to seduce him. I have already decided I will do this. So lets go through with it Tomoyo." She only spoke softly to herself the words that had been running through her mind all day. But saying it aloud seemed to make it more concrete, less susceptible to change.

She sat on her bed and held her hands out, letting the polish dry and set. Too often today was she left with her thoughts. She hated that. More so this time because she couldn't control her thoughts. She couldn't convince herself of anything and that was the last thing she wanted tonight. If she didn't believe she was every bit the cold temptress she wanted to be, there was no way she could reflect it. And he would see right through it. He would pursue whatever vulnerable side he saw until he ripped away that wall she spend so many years building, releasing the flood of emotions that would leave her in turmoil.

She looked up at the mirror again. She sat with her legs crossed on the bed, one cleanly shaven leg hanging out of the silk robe. The front opened low, revealing one subtle curve of her breast and elongating her slender neck. She could have been the image of a legendary goddess, perfectly composed and stone cold just like the limestone statues that represent such an immortal being.

She exhaled gently, "Up, definitely up."

* * *

Eriol waited rather impatiently on Tomoyo's doorstep. Boy did she like to take her sweet time answering the door, or maybe it just seemed like it had been forever. Finally the large door clicked and swung open. Eriol was greeted by a short middle aged woman he had never seen and for a second he took inventory of his surrounding. It wasn't possible that with so much anticipation for the night, he had ventured to the wrong house had he?

"Good Evening Hirizagawa-san. Daidouji-sama will be just a moment. She asks that you come in and have a seat." The woman pulled the door open and gesture that he come in. Eriol gave a quick nod of thanks and followed her to the familiar living room area. He still watched the serving woman, slightly surprised to see her. He had taken Tomoyo to be very independent and even had this image over her hair wrapped up in a hair scarf, decked in overalls on a Sunday morning ready to the a weeks worth of chores.

The woman must have seen the confusion in his eyes. "I am Daidouji-sama's part time housekeeper Toruni. I tend to things when the Mistress has her hands full."

Eriol nodded in understanding and took a seat while the woman scurried back up the staircase.

Moments later she return and said with a slight bowing motion. "Miss Daidouji is ready."

Eriol rose to his feet and straightened out the wrinkles that had made there way to his tuxedo while he sat. Soon after, he could here the clicking of ladies heels on the hard wood stairs. It was then that Tomoyo came into his view and Eriol's breath caught for just a moment.

She wore a fit halter dress of deep crimson that hung low in the front and lower in the back. Two long ties caressed the ivory skin of her back ending just above the spot where the dress resumed. Her hair was swept up in a mass of raven ringlets (which could only have taken a matter of unfathomable time) so that all the advantages of that particular dress could be seen from any angle. The whole ensemble was completed with a small diamond stud that hung from a silver chain about her neck.

Eriol could only imagine that he looked the fool just then, standing there with mouth agape and eyes wide with wonder. She was like looking at the moon. The bright light in a dark sky, captivating onlookers with her beauty.

He once again found feeling surging through his numbed body when Tomoyo's ruby lips smiled at him and he was sure that he saw stars dancing in her eyes.

Eriol smiled in return and bowed deeply, an action that only seemed appropriate at the moment. "I was not aware I would be escorting a goddess tonight. I feel very honored."

The room shined with Tomoyo's reaction. A flush crept slowly to her cheeks, making her seem too innocent to wear the sensual dress.

"You flatter me Eriol. But I am inclined to say that it seems I have the honor of being accompanied by a dashingly handsome young man myself. Might those be for me?" She gestured to a long forgotten bouquet of white lilies in his arms. "They are quite beautiful. It would be a shame to waste them in Madame Chatlier's ridiculously monstrous mansion where they couldn't be appreciated."

Eriol quickly offered the bouquet to her which she accepted gratefully. A slender hand reached and pulled a single flower from the bungle and inhaled the crisp scent. "They are lovely." She handed the rest of the flowers to Toruni who brought them to the kitchen. Tomoyo, still holding the single flower, walked to Eriol and slid her hand in the crook of his elbow, efficiently linking their arms. "Shall we go since you insist on being punctual?"

Eriol nodded. "Yes, we should get going."

They began to move for the door when Tomoyo stopped for a moment. "Toruni, could you please put the flowers in my bedroom? When you are done, please take the rest of the night off. There is a bonus on my nightstand and a bag on the floor with some things for the children."

Toruni appeared quickly with her head bowed. "Thank you very much Daidouji-sama. But really, you must stop giving my children gifts, you'll spoil them. They already ask me everyday if Miss Tomoyo sent them any gifts."

Tomoyo smiled. "Well they are good kids. And they deserve to have all the fun they can at their age. Let them enjoy it. Have a goodnight Toruni."

"Thank you Daidouji-sama. Enjoy yourselves as well."

"Beautiful and generous." Eriol smirked as he opened the door to the stretched town car provided courtesy of the hotel.

Tomoyo proceeded into the vehicle and took her seat as she began to explain her rational. "Well, thousands of toys are left unsold day after day, and the assembly line never sleeps. You wouldn't believe the surpluses in our inventory. And the losses from me giving away toys is nothing compared to the money brought in by those ridiculously expensive tech toys and stock. I just don't see why I can't bring a little happiness to kids that don't have filthy rich mommies and daddies."

"Your heart is truly as pure as it ever was." Eriol replied, taking his seat beside her on the supple leather.

Tomoyo gave a sad smile. She couldn't have felt any dirtier than she had at that moment. Eriol only ever saw the flawless Tomoyo, prim and proper. Save for their first reunion, she had always been the perfect lady in front of him. He had never seen the filth beyond that glossy layer.

She felt like crying out to him, 'you can't say that. You don't know me. You don't know what I have done, what I still do. I am far from pure. Pure are the people I surround myself with. I pretend; I pretend so that maybe they will stay near me, without fear that my filth with dirty their lives like a permanent stain upon their white bedsheets."

But she only smiled, afraid to move her lips or murmur a sound for fear that her words would come flooding out.

To be continued.

A/N: Yes, I admit, there was a whole lot of waff in that one. Can't say I really enjoyed writing that. If some of you have stuck with some of my fics, you might notice I like to take the tragic side as opposed to Waff. But hey. It just fits this particular story.


	13. Let's Pretend

Disclaimer: all that good stuff. The characters, not mine. They belong the Clamp. Oh except Madame Chatlier. She's more like the archetypal rich woman. So she belong to Jung.

AN: Sorry for the delay. Been doing some major revamping of my computer, and its took me a while to actually get this down on paper. But it gets good, I swear. So on with the show.

What She Needs- Lets Pretend

The drive there was silent for the most part. Tomoyo spent most of the drive staring out the tinted windows at the passing street lights. She gave only one word responses to Eriol's various inquiries, but did not fail to notice that hadn't asked why she had become so somber. She wondered if he even sensed that something in the night had already gone awry. She wasn't sure she wanted him to notice or probe her. She wasn't sure she would tell him if he asked.

So taken by her thoughts, Tomoyo hardly realized that the car had slowed to a stop and Eriol was stating that they had arrived. She instantly shook away the lingering of her somber thoughts. She had started the day with a heavy heart when she only wanted to enjoy herself tonight. Maybe her mental stress was a sign that this had been a bad idea. It was all too complicated and confusing.

She looked to Eriol who had already stepped out of the car and extending a hand to her. She took it, trying to wash away her worries with his touch. She let him pull her from the confines of the vehicle and she was greeted by an unexpected crowd of photographers and their flashbulbs.

Blinded for a moment, she wondered why she considered missing this ambush of cameras and the uncomfortable feeling wrought by them. She shielded her eyes from the white lights, partially covering her face from their critical lenses. She like being behind the cameras, not in front of them.

Eriol led her as quickly as he could inside, feeling uncomfortable from the cameras himself. Once inside, they both seemed more at ease. Eriol smiled at Tomoyo who still seemed a bit disoriented. "I suppose we should have expected that. I hear that many celebrities and some European diplomats and royals attend this ball."

Tomoyo huffed. "Well, then I suppose I should feel privileged to have the Daidouji named honored along side royals. How rude of me to decline every year."

Eriol caught the sarcasm in her voice, but before he could respond they were greeted by the hostess herself. Madame Chatlier was a heavy set French woman with dark auburn hair streaked with a sophisticated gray.

Her style was rather loud and excessive with her layers of diamond jewelry and chinchilla fur wrap.

"Mr Hirigazawa. I am so delighted you were able to attend. Many of my guests are very anxious to meet the talented English composer." Her richly accented voice was filled with adoration and butt kissing.

After many long moments of rambling to Eriol about his talents, the Madame finally managed to take note of the woman on Eriol's arm. Had Madame been a monsieur, Tomoyo would have been greatly offended. It had been many years since a male had been able to ignore her beauty. Actually, Syaoran had been the only male to ever miss Tomoyo at first glance. But she held no grudge. After all, she was standing next to Sakura at the time so he couldn't be blamed. And nor could Madame Chatlier, for Eriol was strikingly handsome and probably stole attention away from other men as she did for other women.

"Miss Daidouji, what a surprise. I wasn't aware you were planning to attend this year since I received no response from you." Tomoyo hated the tone of voice she took with her. Like speaking to a stupid elite five year old.

Instead of snapping back Tomoyo simply smiled. "Oh I am terribly sorry for not sending notice Madame. This was very much a last minute decision. My dear friend Mr. Hirigazawa simply insisted that I postpone my orphanage tour this year. How unfortunate it always falls on the same week as you gathering. Well I am not one to refuse an old friend's request, so here I am." Tomoyo beamed with a spectacular pride that even Madame could not dare say something scornful at the moment.

"Well, Thank goodness for Mr. Hirigazawa then." She gave a low nervous chuckle and her eyes began to roam the room. "Will you both excuse me? I must attend to my duties as a gracious hostess and there are still more guests arriving.

Eriol and Tomoyo both nodded in assent and Madame Chatlier hurried off to greet the incoming elite.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Eriol smirked and looked down at Tomoyo. "Annual Orphanage tour? Have we taken to lying now?"

Tomoyo scoffed. "I wasn't lying. I was just letting her believe that it was sooner than it actually is."

"You mean to say there is such a thing?"

"Of course." Tomoyo's eyes began to roam the room until she spotted a destination away from the entrance and closer to the drinks. "Its really much closer to Christmas time. But Madame Chatlier wouldn't really bother to check up on a detail like that. Basically I have a few semi trucks follow me around Japan, filled with toys and we donate them to orphanages as Christmas presents."

"Her heart of gold shines through for the second time of the night." Eriol was thoroughly impressed with what he had seen tonight.

"Well it was my mother's tradition and I like to keep her traditions in practice. Like I said before, so many toys are unsold and these kids have next to nothing. I suppose I sympathize with those kids in a way. I mean, I may have been an adult already when my mother died, but I still felt like an orphan. All I had left was her toy company. And all these kids have are my mother's toys."

She amazed him. She had always been very generous and sacrificing when she had been young. Bust she was also very shy, reserved, and weak when it came to doing and saying things for herself. She had obviously grown out of that. Now a beautiful, confident, and outspoken woman stood be for him, but somehow adulthood was unable to kill her generous spirit as it had in many people that were like her in their youth.

His eyes fell upon her and softened. He watched as she ordered herself a glass of red wine, still captured in his own musings. There was not doubt now that the Tomoyo he once knew and was quite fond of was still in there.

"Hmmm, a half and hour." Tomoyo's melodious voice hummed beside him.

Eriol angled his head just enough to question her with the corner of his eye.

"We've been here a half an hour and she still hasn't..." She paused for a moment, a smile suddenly forming on her ruby lips. "Well speak of the devil." Tomoyo nudged her chin forward gesturing him to look in that direction.

He waited for a moment, watching the strands of raven curls sweep through the air then taken their rightful place on each side of her ears. He then glanced over to her indicated direction and saw Madame Chatlier waving at him, rapidly approaching with two other foreign guests in stride.

Eriol let out a heavy sigh, understanding Tomoyo's unfinished comment. He looked at her, his eyes pleading for help, for escape, but she only smirked before turning back to the bar and casually sipping her wine.

Without acknowledging him, she paused from her sips. "3...2...1"

"Mr. Hirigazawa!" Eriol turned and the overbearing French woman was at his side, her arm linked with his. He inwardly cursed Tomoyo for choosing that moment to pretend they were unacquainted. 'Sly little mink' he thought to himself.

He turned his attention back to his hostess and her two companions. "Good evening Madame." He nodded his head, greeting the two newcomers silently.

"This is the young gentleman I was telling you about. The composer. Eriol Hirigazawa, this is Madame and Monsieur Michel." Eriol shook and kissed the hands of Monsieur and Madame Michel respectively. "Mr. Hirigazawa here is a remarkable musician. His music is destined to be played by hundreds of prodigal children someday, possibly even your own."

"Madame, you flatter me. Really my music is not quite as monumental as all that." His azure eyes shifted to Tomoyo who was snickering in her wine glass. He inwardly cursed her once more. She knew what was to come next and she had to admit it was a brilliant set up by the French woman. Eriol had played right into her trap.

"Well I suppose that is something we will have to decide for ourselves after a listen. Might you grace us with a piece?"

'Brilliantly played Madame!!'

Eriol tugged at the cuffs of his dress shirt nervously, trying to find a paper way to refuse with no avail. Tomoyo's ruby lips curved into another smile. How entertaining it was to watch Eriol squirm; for once not having the upper hand in the situation. After all he couldn't be smooth and suave all the time.

Tomoyo quickly finished her drink, having opted to help Eriol out of his predicament. She turned to the group, flashing a dazzling smile as she linked arms with Eriol. "Eriol? Play? Oh goodness no. I don't think we will ever see that day. He is so steadfast about not playing for anyone but himself and a recording mic. Oh my, I couldn't count the times I've asked him to play for me and he refused."

Tomoyo inwardly grinned. She wasn't exactly lying. It was true she couldn't count the number of refusals because he had never refused. The one time she directly asked him to play, he had.

"But I suppose that steadfast nature of his will be the key to his success. After all, I'm sure everyone will be so eager to hear his work that by the time the record is released, we will all be standing in line for it." Tomoyo let out an angelic chuckle for the finishing touch.

Madame and Monsieur Michel seemed enchanted by the charismatic young Japanese woman. They both laughed and nodded fervently at her witty comments, in total agreement. Madame Chatlier however, did not seem amused, but played the part as if she was.

Tomoyo touched her other hand to Eriol's arm without turning her attention away from the pack. "Now, if you would excuse us. Mr. Hirigazawa promised me a dance tonight so I was hoping I might snag him away for a song or two." The three nodded and Tomoyo began to guide Eriol to the dance floor.

Once out of earshot, Eriol leaned to his side and whispered words of thanks, "You handled that quite expertly."

"Which can't be said for you. I don't believe I have ever seen you at such a loss for words." Tomoyo chucked as they faced each other in a standard dance embrace.

"I suppose my intuition is getting dull. She completely blind sided me with that one." Eriol responded lightly as they began to move in sync with the melody. Unfortunately the song neared its end sooner than expected and was replaced by a slower melody, accompanied by the vocals of a tragic love song.

In respect of the new environment, Eriol drew Tomoyo's frame close to his, breaking their waltz formation. In response, Tomoyo let the hand, that previously rested on his shoulder, slide down his arm and around his back in a much more casual position.

As they swayed to the music, Tomoyo's head found its way to rest against Eriol's shoulder. Her eyes languidly blinked as her body began to take a state of calm. His heavy scent bombarded her nostrils with the smell of fresh rain and mountainous dew. She could have fallen into a restful sleep just then in the security of his arms if not for the crawling sensations on the skin of her lower back.

Eriol's finger tips expertly traced the line of her back, down to the curve of her dress where it began to follow that as well. They brushed against her tender skin drawing meaningless patterns and lines, sending shivering sensations throughout Tomoyo's body. Every spot yearned that he cease his gentle caresses that teased her so and replaced them with a firm, warm, steady hand.

But he continued and she became intoxicated by his touch. Feeling absolutely helpless and thoroughly aroused, she pressed in closer to him, tucking her head slightly under his chin absorbing more of his scent and tempting herself with the proximity of his ivory neck. Heat began to rise to her cheeks as well as other places as she began to feel light headed, her limbs more and more heavy. She wasn't sure what this new sensation was but she would blame it on the alcohol because it was far easier than exploring other potential answers.

TBC- and that's where I let you hang.


	14. Reality Check

Disclaimer: I wish, and so do most people. But we can't all own the rights to RK now can we.

A/N: Happy turkey day for those who celebrate. For those who don't, uh happy 28th!

Ok. Errrr, I hope this goes well. That's all I can say to it.

What she Needs- Reality Check

The dwindled on, but the festivities did not seem slow. Eriol and Tomoyo had spent the majority of the night in each other's quiet company. Occasionally they would sweep across the dance floor, or chat it up with other guests. All in all, it wasn't as dreadful a night as Tomoyo had always imagined it would be.

Eriol watched Tomoyo from the corner of his eye. A smile played on her lips, indicating that she might just be enjoying herself. Satisfied with his own accomplishment, he let out a devilish smirk, enough so that his company took notice.

"And just what are you smiling about?" Tomoyo questioned, swishing the deep crimson drink around in her glass.

"Nothing."

Tomoyo huffed. He had found his mysterious debonair side again. She had enjoyed having that card to play, even if her time with it was short lived.

Another song began to play and Eriol set down his glass, ready to ask for yet another dance when they were greeted by a new presence.

"Mr. Hirigazawa, Miss Daidouji. I've been meaning to meet you all night." A rather statuesque man with thick chestnut hair came into their secluded corner and reached his hand forth. "My name is Alexandre Chatlier."

"Madame's son?" Tomoyo extended her hand to shake his, but he took it by the fingers and raised the back side of her hand to his lips.

"Yes." He smiled and Tomoyo felt like she had seen that smile before. "Are the two of you enjoying the evening my mother has planned?"

Eriol only nodded.

Tomoyo smiled and nodded as well. "Yes, its been quite a lovely evening. Thank you." Tomoyo searched and searched her memory, perhaps she had seen him at a restaurant? Or maybe even an elite magazine cover?

"Mr Hirigazawa, I was wondering if I might steal Miss Daidouji from you for a quick round on the dance floor." Alexandre had not addressed Eriol with his eyes as he requested this. His eyes remained locked on Tomoyo with a coy smile dancing on his lips.

Tomoyo looked to Eriol response. He seemed unaffected and gave a compliant smile and nod.

Hesitantly she took Alexandre's hand and allowed him to lead her to the dance floor.

Eriol watched as they began to do a basic waltz step, focusing mostly on the interaction of their eyes and lips. He was saying something to her and Tomoyo was leaning in close as if she was having a hard time hearing his words. To remedy that, Alexandre had moved his hand around her waist pulling her in a little more and tilting his head to whisper in her ear.

Eriol's eyes narrowed on the man's hand that sat boldly at the base of her back where it curved in slightly before the rest of her backside continued on. Tomoyo had seemed unconcerned about that positioning. He watched only a second more at their exchange before he decided he was in need of a drink.

"Don't quite remember me Tomoyo?" Alexandre grinned as they began to move around the dance floor.

"Should I?" Tomoyo knew his face was familiar, as well as his touch, but she couldn't finger just who he was.

"Well perhaps not. But we have encountered each other before. Just once. But it was quite a memorable encounter." His gray eyes seemed to dance with mischievousness. He leaned toward her, his lips close to her ear and his breath on her hair. "Actually I'd say a pretty memorable night. You were wonderful."

Tomoyo's eyes widened for a moment. Could she have? With him? Was he one of those indistinguishable numbers in her drawer?

"Don't looked so stunned Tomoyo. Or so ashamed for that matter." His hand pulled her waist in just a tad bit closer. "It was a good night. Nothing to be ashamed of."

Tomoyo stared up at him. He did not seem the least bit angry that she hadn't called him or that he had been a one night stand. In fact he seemed to enjoy the fact that that was all it was.

He chuckled. "You look so worried Miss Tomoyo. I assure you I am not mentioning this to elicit this kind of reaction from you. I just noticed you, and wanted to express my thanks. I mean lots of the women I sleep with always want something back from me. But you were like a birthday present for me. A good lay I didn't have to do anything for but have a good time."

Alexandre looked up out of the crowd at a man that striding quickly to the bar.

"I suppose he's the lucky one tonight. Well he sure is in for a good ride."

Tomoyo wanted to pull away. Wanted to tell him to shut up because he didn't know anything about her and Eriol. But she was in a state of shock and shame. Because what he said was true and it made her feel so unclean.

The song began to draw to a close, but Alexandre held on to her still. "Well anyway Tomoyo. Maybe after you are done with him, however long that may take, you should fish for my number. I was thinking that good sex shouldn't be put to waste and that we could have maybe an arrangement. After all, its hard to find a girl that is just in it for the sex. Quite a find."

The song ended and he released her. She pulled away instantly and shrunk back.

He gave her a wink before walking off.

Tomoyo shuddered, shaking off his touch from her skin. She felt like a common whore. Suddenly the enchanted feeling left her and now it seemed like she was just a no good street hooker that dolled up for the evening, but had to return to work later that night. How easily her tainted life had caught up with her tonight and she shuddered at the thought that someone there knew that she more about her sins than everyone else did.

She headed bee-line for the bar. "Double Vodka Cranberry, heavy on the vodka." The moment she was presented with the glass, she took it with one breath. "Again."

* * *

"Almost there." Eriol kicked the front door opened and entered the house, dragging Tomoyo along side him. She body rested heavily against his as her head was buried in the crook of his shoulder. Eriol closed the door behind them and looked at the stairs which now seemed rather daunting.

He gave a little bounce which served to readjust Tomoyo's arm around slung around his shoulders and lifted her into his arms to that she was cradled against his chest. She groaned at the sudden movement but he ignored her. She was nearly passed out anyway and wouldn't really remember if he had been slightly gruff with her drunken body.

After what seemed like an eternity of stairs, they reached Tomoyo's bedroom.

Eriol went to the bed, gently placing her sleeping form on the soft down comforter. He sat next to her on the bed for a moment watching her breathe. He cheeked were tinted with the rosy color that accompanied alcohol. He smiled. It was interesting to see the uncontrolled side of Tomoyo for once. He doubted that she ever let herself get that drunk too often. It was cute nonetheless. She was more like the childhood Tomoyo he once knew when she was drunk. All smiles and giggles.

He gently moved fallen strands of hair from her face and took another good look before reaching over to pull the other half of the comforter over her. Just after he stretched over, he looked back and was met by violet eyes peering through partially veiling lashes.

"Hi." He spoke quietly, forgetting the comforter.

"Hi." Her voice was soft and almost seemed to purr at him.

"I was just about to leave." Eriol began to rise from his spot on the bed when a paled hand snaked out and grasped the ends of his jacket.

"No. Don't." She still didn't completely open her eyes to look at him. Instead she drew him back into his seat.

He watched her for a moment, aware of the fact that she was watching him rather intently and very aware of the hands that slid up the panels of his tuxedo jacket. Suddenly her hands clutched at his collar and he was instantly pulled down on top of her, their lips meeting in a fiery kiss.

Eriol braced and arm on each side of her head, holding himself up while letting his head drop closer to hers, deepening their kiss. He forgot all rational thought as her tongue ran across his lips and lapped in his mouth in the most intoxicating way, his own tongue responded greedily.

Tomoyo's arms wrapped around his neck, beckoning him to draw closer. He complied, his body pressing against hers, feeling every labored rise and fall of her chest as she was excited further. She threw back her neck as he showered hot kisses down her throat continuing on to the curves of her breasts. His warm breath was so inviting, and Tomoyo could no longer find the reasons why this couldn't happen.

In an effort to feel more of him, Tomoyo allowed her hands to roam his body, helping him escape from the confines of his coat. As she rubbed here and there, one of her hands found its way to his inner thigh and she slowly worked her way up it until she came to graze her present for the night.

At her touch, Eriol immediately pulled away, completely backing away from her and the bed. Her hand on his crotch had been a clear indication of what they were just about to do and he had to stop it. All rational thought came flooding back to him.

Tomoyo looked at him with confusion. "What are you doing?"

"This isn't right." Eriol shook his head and retrieved his jacket from the floor.

"Just what isn't 'right' about it?" Tomoyo sat up and reached for his wrist, but Eriol avoided her grasp.

"Well for one, you are drunk and I'm not exactly the most sober person either. I don't want us doing something we are going to regret."

"Who says we will regret it?" Tomoyo leaned back on her elbows, extending her legs out in an inviting pose.

Eriol shook his head, "I just don't think this is the right way. I mean, this whole situation reads one night stand to me. And you are not a one night stand Tomoyo."

"Shows what you know." Tomoyo mumbled under her breath.

"What?" Eriol turned at the sound of her voice, but hadn't quite caught her words.

Tomoyo blushed for a moment and shook her head. "Nothing." She rose from her spot on the bed, stumbling a bit, landing in Eriol's arms. He supported her until she found her center of balance. She placed her hands on the front of his jacket, smoothing out the fabric. "Look, it won't be like that. I think its been pretty clear that this is something we both want and we are both adults." She raised her gaze to his soft azure eyes. "I'm telling you Eriol, it's okay."

She touched a sole finger to his chin, guiding his face to hers and touch his lips with a gentle kiss. Her other hand slid around his back and held him firmly into her. He kissed her back for a moment, his soft lips lingering on hers before he pulled back. "Not like this."

Eriol managed to pry himself for her hold. He continually shook his head. "It shouldn't be like this. I don't want it to happen this way." His stare was fixed to the floor as he backed away. He hadn't noticed that Tomoyo's once soft violet eyes had narrowed and darkened.

With her hands tightly balled into fist at her sides, she let out a growl of frustration. "Well Eriol, this happens to be the only way it will happen. I am Tomoyo Daidouji, I don't give second chances. When I offer something, I offer it once. This is a now or never deal."

Eriol looked up at her comment and met her fiery glare. "Deal? A deal Tomoyo? Would you listen to yourself? This isn't a business Tomoyo. You aren't selling me something. This isn't you." His words came out harsh and he instantly regretted the comparing her to a common hooker. He saw that the words had stirred something in her and her eyes changed again. He shook his head once more, his expression apologetic. "I think maybe we are both just a little more drunk than we thought and don't know what we are saying."

"Stop saying that!" Tomoyo suddenly screamed, shocking him with her volume. "I am not drunk! I have the tolerance of a Irish man okay? I know exactly what I am doing and I meant what I said. This is a deal Eriol, your body for my body. And don't tell me this isn't me. Don't tell me I'm not a one night stand. Don't tell me I am not a commodity. That's exactly what I am! You think you have been seeing me for who I really am? This is who I really am!!" She stepped forward and grabbed him by the arm. She forcefully pushed him down on the bed before getting on it herself and straddling his lap.

"Intoxicated or no, there is only one goal here Eriol. No matter what you say, you won't convince me different." Eriol squirmed a bit, trying to get out from under her, not wanting to use force. "Stop pretending Eriol. Let's be honest. I know what men want and don't you claim to be different. You want the same thing that all men want from me. I knew what you wanted the very first time you set your eyes on me at Syaoron's party." Tomoyo tossed her fallen strands of hair to one side and reached behind her. With a swift tug, the ties of her halter came undone and the front of her dress fell to her waist, leaving her chest bare.

Eriol tried averting his eyes from the pale orbs present before him. This all felt wrong. This wasn't the Tomoyo he knew. She wasn't in this woman.

An sadistic smirk played on Tomoyo's lips. She took his chin in his hand and returned his gaze to her body. "Sex is Sex Eriol. In the end its what you want from me. So what does it matter how you get it?" She pulled his chin toward her as she lower her lips on his again, this time more forcefully and with more conviction.

She smiled against him as she felt his hands cup her cheeks then slide down her neck, past her shoulders, grazing past each side of her exposed breasts. Unexpectedly his hands were on her waist and she was suddenly on her back. Eriol's warmth had left her body and he was now standing, towering over her, his face written in disappointment. "This is definitely wrong."

His voice was like ice and sent shivers down Tomoyo's spine. She searched his azure eyes, but they avoided her gaze as he began to exit the room.

The sight of his back to her sent rage flooding through Tomoyo's veins once more. "I meant what I said Eriol!" She shouted at him. "This is a now or never deal! Walk away now; don't ever come back. There are no second chances with me!"

Eriol only shook his head in disappointment and left the room without ever turning back to look at her.

TBC

A/N: Crap, don't shoot me. Ahhh, duck Hey! That one came really close.


	15. The Morning After

Disclaimer: don't own them, wish I did. Oh but I do own any mysterious characters that I made up.

AN: Okie dokie…well then, what can I say. I'm gonna apologize in advance for this one. Not my best work, but I was slightly stumped here. How do I follow up my last chapter? I just need something to get me through to the next part. I have a plan, worry not. There are just details to be accounted for first. A story is like a big heist, you know what the final goal is, and you know generally how you have to get there, but there is always the matter of details.

What She Need – The morning after

Tomoyo's body lay heavy on the bed; her breathing slow and shallow. Violet eyes stared widely at the phone on her dresser. All she had to do was pick it up, and that would be the end of it. The end to all the anger, the shame, the foolishness. An end to the pain.

It would all be forgotten with one call. She could return to the life she had once known to her stable, though promiscuous life. At least that life was familiar, At least it didn't hurt. It didn't hurt as much as this hurt.

As much as she willed herself to reach out for the phone, her limbs would not comply. She only lay there with her eyes wide open, denying herself. She would not call Touya tonight. He would not see her wrecked like so. She would not ask him to help her, not for Eriol she wouldn't.

Touya was there to help her cope with her love for Sakura. That was real pain; that was real heartache.

This, this was just Eriol. She would survive Eriol alone, because he was nothing to her. She didn't love him. It was only the pain and the shock of rejection that left her paralyzed, even hours after his scent left her bedroom. It was only shock, not lost love.

Tomoyo let out one heavy sigh. "He is nothing to me." Her voice managed to whisper in a heavy rasp. "I will forget him…tomorrow."

The sun streamed into the bedroom, shining light over her tired and worn face. She had not slept. She had not risen from the spot he had left her last night. Her cheeks were damp with tears she had allowed herself to shed over Hirigazawa Eriol that night. But a new sun had risen, and today was yesterday's tomorrow. She would forget him now.

Slowly, she pushed herself off from the bed. Once standing, she let the rest of her gown fall from her waist to the floor, abandoning with all other memories of the night before.

"Adventure over Tomoyo. Time to come back to the real world." She drew her silk rove about her and went to her dresser to take two aspirin. True, she hadn't been very drunk last night and was not hung over now, but it felt right to go back to her routine. Her body ached for routine again.

She popped the pills and retreated to her shower.

Afterwards, she caught her reflection in the steamy mirror. Her cheeks had been flustered and raw from the tears she had cried all night. Tomoyo shook her head with disappointment. How ridiculous she looked, crying over a man.

She opened her vanity drawer and pulled out an eye dropper. She flooded her worn eyes with their cooling effect until the fluid streamed down her cheeks like their predecessors. She wiped the away with her face towel and looked back at her reflection. "You have already decided to forget about last night. Why won't you face agree and look it?" She shook her head again and went to get dressed, hoping she would get through the day without anyone questioning her appearance.

Work somehow seemed less productive than ever, giving her too much time to reflect. Although she tired her best to banish him from her thoughts and keep mind to the meetings, she repeatedly found herself failing. 'It shouldn't be so hard Tomoyo. It shouldn't be so hard to forget him. That was part of the original plan. You would have had your night and forgotten him after. Pretend Tomoyo, pretend. At least pretend you have abandoned him. Its not as if you don't have practice and pretending and abandoning.'

"Is that okay Ms. Daidouji?" Her name drew her from her thoughts and back to the meeting. She stared at her board of directors with blank eyes. In response to her hesitation, the man repeated his question, "Should we have the branch in New York to donate their surplus toys to orphanages as well? We really think it will help to soften the big bad Japanese toy company image we have picked up there."

Tomoyo nodded, only vaguely hearing what he had asked. "That sounds fine."

All eyes seemed to be on her and locked in concern. It was not so much her answer that surprised them, because it was the right one, but rather her response. Her behavior had been odd in the last week. She was distancing herself from the company during the only time she was most actively involved. They would be making the final arrangements for their orphanage tour soon, and Tomoyo was usually knee deep in her plans. But recently, all her ideas were absent from the meetings and responses to their had been nods and 'sures.'

Daunted by her colleagues probing stares, she suggested that they break for lunch and excused herself from the conference room.

Soon enough her faithful secretary Kihone was at her heels, ready to take her lunch order. Tomoyo only shook her head, replying that she wasn't hungry. Kihone only nodded at this and proceeded to ask if she wanted anything else, perhaps something to drink. Tomoyo responded 'no' before retreating into her office and closing the door behind her. At her desk, she sat slumped and head resting on her fisted hand. Her fingers clenched tighter and tighter until her nails began to tear small holes in the flesh of her palms. She wanted desperately to reach for the phone, to dial a number, any number. She wanted so badly for someone to be on the other line, someone to talk to her and make her feel sane.

She lifted her head and watched the phone. Slowly she reached and touched its spine with her index finger. She fooled around with the idea a bit longer before coming back to her senses. Slowly she rose from her desk, more determined than ever to get him off her mind. She touched the call button for Kihone who was in her office faster than lightening.

"How feasible is it to move up the orphanage tour?"

"Move it up?" Kihone asked in a slight disbelief.

"Yes, perhaps even add a few more places. How fast can we manage that?" Tomoyo asked, her words fixed and her body stiff.

The assistant began furiously flipping through her planner. "I'm not sure ma'am. I would have to call the trucking service, and our inventory…"

"How fast?" Tomoyo repeated more sternly.

"Maybe two weeks, at the least a week."

"Two days." Tomoyo replied and began packing her things up. "I want to leave in two days. Make the calls, schedule the flights. I'll be at home making other arrangements." She grabbed her briefcase and began to leave her office. "Make it happen."

Tomoyo took a few deep breaths as she left her office. 'Occupied, just stay occupied.'

TBC – yeah….so


	16. Reliving the Past

Disclaimer: don't own them, wish I did. Oh but I do own any mysterious characters that I made up.

AN: sorry, sorry. I've been a little blocked when it comes to writing this story. I just want to get to the parts I want to get to. But that would leave me with an amazingly disjointed story which I just can't stand for. Anyway…on with the show

Previously- Upon being rejected by Eriol, Tomoyo, with a new determination, decides to throw herself into her work and get away from Tomoeda for a while.

What She Needs- Reliving the Past

Tomoyo stepped out from the plane's hatch on to the stairway. Wearily she clutched at the hand rail and started descending down the stairs. Somehow she had gotten air sick again. Worst, she wanted to throw up, but nothing came except for the putrid taste at the back of her throat. The whole ordeal gave her a dizzying effect she didn't particularly appreciate.

"Where are we now?" She asked as she drew her coat tighter around her, warding off the winter chills.

"Osaka" Kihone replied, walking along side her to the limo that was waiting for them. Once in the confines of the limousine Kihone began to read off their itinerary. "First we will go to the hotel. I have you booked at the Claiton Shin-Osaka. The trucks are not scheduled to arrive until four this afternoon, so that gives us time to have lunch with the director of the orphanage first. She thought it would be nice if we could personalize the gifts for the children. She knows exactly what they all want. She had them write letters to Santa and kept them for you. Thought maybe you would want to read them."

"Sweet." Tomoyo spoke as she fidgeted in her place. "Excuse me, driver! Could you turn up the heat, it's an ice box in here."

"The heat is up pretty high ma'am." The driver replied, glancing in the rear view mirror at her. "If you like, there is a blanket under the seat your assistant is in. Just lift the cushion."

Tomoyo gestured for Kihone to retrieve the blanket for her and promptly draped it across her shoulders and legs.

"So would lunch at Ko's be alright?" The younger woman had already started penciling it in to her planner when Tomoyo stopped her.

"Do you mind something lighter? I'm not hungry. Perhaps we could just go to a café or something. At least somewhere they don't mind if you just order coffee." Tomoyo glanced out the window at the town. People were already wide awake and filled the streets. Some were doing their holiday shopping. Other's tried their hands at holiday selling. Others seemed to have just stolen a day away from work to spend time with their family.

She watched them with envy, wishing to be with her own family. She let her thoughts drift to Sakura, Syaoran, and Nadeshinko. She had missed them dearly on the trip. Although she could hardly remember the last time she saw them. She was sure it couldn't have been too long ago. Yet her most recent memory of them all being together was at Syaoran's party. That same night their group was reunited. That same night she began her infatuation with Hirigazawa Eriol.

Tomoyo blinked a few times, only letting her thoughts linger on him for a moment. She had made it this far, made it to Osaka without him invading her thoughts. She wondered if it meant this stop was doomed. Would his cloud hang over her now that she has allowed herself the tiniest morsel of his presence?

A heavy sigh ensued, immediately causing concern for the over zealous assistant. "Is it your stomach again? Are you feeling alright? Would you like me to schedule you an appointment with a doctor while you are here?"

Tomoyo shook her head. "I'm just a little tired Kihone. Its nothing. I must be getting old, and traveling isn't suited for me anymore."

"Miss Daidouji, you are far from old. You still have years until you are thirty. I think it's because you haven't eaten this morning. All you had was that tea and that was hours ago." She opened the mini fridge next to her and pulled out an apple. "You should eat this."

Tomoyo rolled her eyes and reluctantly took the apple. "Thank you MOTHER. Remind me Kihone, who is boss in this relationship?"

The girl immediately blushed and pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "Sorry Miss Daidouji."

Tomoyo took a bite from the red apple, but for the remainder of the ride it sat cradled in her hand, hardly eaten.

There were so many letters to read. The orphanage director had left her quite a hefty stack of letters, some of which were pages long. But Tomoyo intended to read them all. They had so little and she was determined to give them everything they wanted.

She sat cross legged on her king size hotel bed with the letters sprawled about her. In her lap was a note pad to write down their names and what they should be given.

She smiled at the last letter she read, written by some war-obsessed boy that wanted to be a great pilot some day and in turn asked for several model airplanes. Quite goal oriented. Tomoyo jotted his name down and put some model airplane series next to it as well as a pilot's costume that was left over from Halloween.

She picked up the next letter that she found to her delight was written in lavender, her favorite color as a child.

_Dear Santa,_

_I have been super good this year, but I don't want a lot for Christmas. All I really want is for Hikaru-kun to notice me. He is a very nice boy, just like me. We do not talk a lot. When we do, I get very nervous and I start to get red. He has very pretty eyes but sometimes they are so serious! I wonder what he is thinking about so hard. I don't know, but whatever it is makes him smile sometimes. Kawaii!!! I wish I knew what made him smile, then I would do anything I could to make him smile all the time! Please Please Please Santa, tell me what makes Hikaru-kun happy so that I may make him happy. Maybe then he will notice me, and I can tell him how I feel. Even though I haven't told anyone how I feel. Please Please. Thank You._

_Koyanagi__ Sayo_

Tomoyo felt like she was going to cry. She felt like she was nine again, doing anything to make Sakura-chan happy because she loved her. Now this little girl just wants the same for this little boy. Tomoyo could imagine that if she were told that all that would make him happy was someone else, she would gratefully let him be happy.

Now utterly curious, Tomoyo shuffled through the pile of still unread letters, looking for the one that belonged to the boy. At last she found it and it wasn't to her surprise that the letter was written in impeccably neat hand-writing, almost as if written by an adult.

_Dear Santa, (If there is one)_

_Keiko-dono asked us to write letters to you. Even the ones that don't really believe must do so. All I can really say about your existence is that you have let me down before. So I don't know if I should really believe in you. But I will write one to please Keiko-dono. She promised not to read it, so I guess this can be a test to see if she was telling the truth. And if she is reading, I will put what I want…just in case._

_If you are really Santa and all the stories I have heard are true, then you must have magic to do those things. That's what I want. Magic. They can solve any problem and its great for playing tricks on people. Ok, so I haven't been the best boy this year. But I don't get my wish, I don't have to believe in you. And I won't!_

_Hikaru Eisen_

Tomoyo couldn't help but chuckle at the boy's letter. It truly brought her back to her days at Tomoeda elementary and of her friends. He was very much like the stubborn Syaoran it seemed. He also seemed to have the same mischievousness about him that was possessed by Eriol, past and present.

She picked up the earlier read letter and stared at the two. She would be good for him she decided. Someone to calm the little demon he hides inside him or maybe even awaken it a little.

Childhood emotions overflowed once again and Tomoyo was giddy with the prospect of playing matchmaker once more. She enjoyed it when it was Sakura and Syaoran. Of course she didn't fail to remember that Eriol's magic and partnership had been of great assistance then and would be wonderful to have now.

She sighed at the moment of nostalgia. Life had been so much easier then. So much easier to hide, to smile, to pretend. It had been so much easier with Eriol's friendship and help. She had forgotten that he served her as a fantastic distraction when she felt and an especially strong mournful longing for Sakura. For some reason, she felt she could share so much with him, all the while sharing nothing at all really. How life was easier then.

Tomoyo cursed the tears that ran down her cheeks and cursed Eriol for his presence in her mind. "I don't need him. I don't need his help here. I didn't need it then. I could have gotten those two together just as well without him. He didn't do much anyway. I can do this on my own."

She returned her attention back to the letters and moments later smiled when a plan came to her.

TBC- actually, this is gonna be kind of fun. Its cute…


	17. Christmas Wishes

Disclaimer: I don't own anything of CCS. Just having a little fun.

AN: WHAT?? you are kidding! After years of silence...an update! Sorry to have left you for so long. Hopefully I can finish this story and fast, because if I don't I'm afraid I would let you all down. So read and review. Give me fuel to finish before the new year.

Tomoyo watched from the orphanage director's office window as the kids stormed the Santa she had hired to pass out the toys. It was absolute chaos as gifts were distributed and bits of wrapping paper showered the floor of the dining hall. While she was anxious to see the smiles on all the children's faces as they opened their presents, her eyes sought out two children in particular.

Hikaru-kun had not been hard to find for he was the only boy who wasn't running around chasing the other little boys with their new trucks and planes. He stood off to the corner of the room with stubborn and focused eyes fixed on the hat and wand in his hands. He tapped the wand to the hat furiously without any avail. He picked up the instructions again, scanning the directions. Finally he found the one line to all his troubles. "Batteries not included." After scouring the box, he glared up at the Santa for hire, looking at him as though he were the biggest idiot on the planet for forgetting the batteries.

Tomoyo scanned the remainder of the room for Koyanagi- chan and found her on the opposite side also staring incredulously at her present. Tomoyo smiled at the look of confusion and decided the child needed some help. She entered the bustling dining hall and made her way to the girl. "What's the matter, Santa didn't get your present right?"

The girl seemed startled as she turned to face Tomoyo. Staring at her were violet eyes, just the same as her own. "Oh, well I don't know. I wasn't really thinking he could get me what I wanted, but I am just as confused by his choice." She opened up her hands to reveal a pair of double A batteries.

Tomoyo smiled. Oh how this little girl reminded her of herself. "I see your confusion. Perhaps those were meant to be with another present and were placed in your box by accident. Let's see." Tomoyo straightened herself up and raised her voice to the crowd. "Children!! Children!! Is anyone missing batteries for their presents?" Only a few children had looked up, but most of them immediately returned to their toys.

"Batteries!" Koyanagi looked out at the crowd for the familiar voice. Indeed heading straight for her was her beloved Hikaru. "Batteries? You have batteries?" The little girl turned to look back at the violet eyed woman, but she had disappeared. "Hey are those double A's?" Koyanagi faced Hikaru and blushed. He looked so kawaii as he looked upon her with such hope. She quickly nodded and opened her hand to present the batteries to him. "Perfect!" He snatched the batteries from her hand and put them into hat.

Just as he was about to walk away from her, Koyanagi found her voice, "Hikaru-kun." He looked at her questioningly. "Will you show me a magic trick?"

He didn't answer right away, but contemplated for a moment. "I need to practice it first. Come find me in five minutes, over there." He pointed to the corner he previously occupied. He smiled big and then went on his way.

Tomoyo watched this exchange back in her lookout point from the office. She smiled just as wide as Hikaru kun as she watched Koyanagi jump up and down in excitement, her brown curls bouncing with her. Suddenly she felt warmer on the inside than she had in a very long while.

* * *

"Let me help you with those Daidouji-sama"

"Thank you Toruni." Tomoyo handed off one of her bags to her housekeeper. She was exhausted and just wanted to crawl into her bed. It had been a long few weeks visiting orphanages, and although it helped heal her soul a little, it also helped to drain her of all her energy. She collapsed into her bed, not just falling asleep, but falling into oblivion.

TBC


End file.
